DEAR THYROID^TM

Golden Gloss #7  A soft gold colored gloss which by itself just adds a warm/peachy-golden sheen to lips but warms up the color of any color lipstick when applied on top

It’s interesting what people say to you when they know or find out you’ve had cancer.  It leaves most people speechless and fumbling for words but what is it we want to hear on the receiving end?  I’m not sure.

Recently I ran into a man that I was cast in a show with when my cancer came back the second time.  Consequently I had to drop out of the show and I didn’t see him again until now.  He asked how I was doing and I told him that after the second surgery, cancer came back a third time taking part of my trachea and attacking my one remaining vocal cord.  His reply was, “Wow, you’re one of the lucky ones.”  My response was zero, I just kept the smile on my face and after what seemed like unending silence he said, “You get to see life differently.”  I remained smiling as I replied, “I guess so.”

What I wanted to say was that I didn’t feel lucky when I was told I had cancer.  I didn’t feel lucky when I had to tell my kids the third time that my cancer was back and my 5 year old at the time asked if I was going to die this time.  Was it luck that cut my nerve leaving me with one vocal cord and a voice that may never allow me to be cast in another show?  Am I lucky to not be able to run around with my kids because of my breathing issues from my surgeries and radiation?

Whew, deep breath.  Okay, if you count the number of people who stepped up to walk with me through my journey, the love I felt and the friends I made.  If you count the endless hours of introspection, wondering about life and what’s important.  If you count the fact that now I DO look at life with more amazement and expectancy, cherishing every moment and living passionately.  And if you count the fact that I’m more encouraging and I watch my words more carefully because words matter, than yes, I’m the luckiest girl around.

As I thought about luck I considered choosing green lipstick as my color but alas, it’s only available on Halloween and it’s not really becoming on people, plus I’m not Irish (which defuncts the association between green and luck of the Irish); but I chose gold because at the end of every rainbow there’s a pot of gold!

Written by, Anna Warner

Tags: cancer column, cancer support, cancer support column, cancer treatments, explaining that you have cancer, living with cancer, people's responses to cancer, using lipstick to express oneself while dealing with cancer

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