Marco Thylo Entries for the Lightbulb Win a T-Shirt Contest
When I wrote last week’s Marco Thylo, I was riding the snatch express, venting, lamenting and ranting my guts out. After reading everyone’s entries (punch lines) to the question, How many women and, or men with thyroid disease or thyroid cancer does it take to change a light bulb?, I was so busy laughing my ass off, I found the nearest stop and promptly removed my World Wide Web of an ass from the train.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. Your entries were hilarious and fabulous. But, enough about me. You have one week to vote on the winning entry. The winner will receive a t-shirt from the Dear Thyroid store. Vote your hearts out. They’re all so good, I don’t know how you’ll be able to choose a winner. I know I couldn’t. Good luck everyone. You’re all winners in my book.
1. AMY: None. We are all too tired, our energy is drained, and our brains are too fuzzy.
2. MONICA: No need to change it. Those with insomnia would rather keep it off so they can try to get some sleep and the rest are too tired to care.
3. JOANNA: Oh, the light bulb burned out? I thought that was thyroid fog sending me into a new realm of mental darkness.
4. HD: Our endo docs don’t want the bulb changed, they much prefer us in the dark.
5. LOLLY: Light bulb, hahaha don’t make me laugh, never mind how many people does it take, don’t you mean how many months. Now if I hit that switch one more time I’m going to go fucking crazy, now where’s that god damn flower bulb!!!
6. M: Oh, we couldn’t possibly change it on our own. There would probably be a specialist brought in to assess the situation, a surgeon saying ‘take it out’, a doctor saying ‘leave it in’, friends would drop by to say ‘it looks fine to me’ o’it’s changed already just get over it and move on’. We’d need our family close by for moral support and we’d probably need to log on to ‘Dear Lightbulb’ regularly to purge our pent up feelings of frustration, turmoil and regret at ever setting eyes on the screwy little bulb in the first place;-)
7. KATHY: Um, I had my light bulb tested.. Even though it’s not working, the electriciocrinologist says that it is working just fine. Funny, it doesn’t feel like it’s working. It’s pretty dark in here. Is it all in my head?
8. CASSANDRA: Well you see that depends, how long do you have to listen? It all started when I was misdiagnosed the first of 10 times.. . .
9. SARINA: three doctors three opinions, 2 surgeries, 2 infections, 2 pending cat scans and two weeks for the results, I wish the light bulb would go out for two weeks so I didnt have to think about it, see anyone or worry for two whole weeks, I couldnt even get out of bed today, it was a miserable day times 2;;;ok tired again back to my blankey and pillow.
10. ZARI: Since I was in too much of a daze to either pay the electric bill or notice that it’s dark, I don’t see the point of questions about light bulbs. Besides the 131 made me glow in the dark
11. NATASHA: Lightbulb?? I don’t need no stinkin’ lightbulb! I just need to channel all my hyper energy into the outlights and it will be brighter than a college student at midterms.
12. PAULA: It takes one, but she never changes it because she’d rather sit in the dark and feel oh so very depressed and special, and it gives her something else to cuss about.
Please leave your votes in comments.
Love,
ME
Tags: contest, stupid things endocrinologists say, stupid things said to thyroid patients, thyroid humor, thyroid humor stories, thyroid jokes
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33 Responses to “Marco Thylo Entries for the Lightbulb Win a T-Shirt Contest”
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#6
I can’t decide; they’re all good…If I could change my lightbulb, maybe I could choose.
Trying to Focus…The light is flickering but still dim…I’ve reread them 10 times…I need more light to focus…flickering again…Will it be #6, #9 or #10???
Thyrofuckit…I’ll just use a flashlight…and say, #*9*
Oh man!!! Those were freakin’ funny!!!! Loved them and the mighty brains that all of the hilarity came from!!
My brain hasn’t been on a very functioning mode lately….hence the absence from y’all. I should know better than that, but it feels lonely sometimes!!
So—–I HAVE to chose? Damn. They’re all too good. Ok…let me scroll back up a minute…hang on…arrgghhh!!
For simplicity, I love number 4! For a little more depth on the same topic, I love number 6! And, for all you hypers out there…..I loved number 11!!!
Ok, I’m trying here….hell. You want me to make a damn decision?? Alright. Number 6.
They are all great! I vote for #4 (shoutout to all those with awful doc experiences!)
#6
Very hard to decide…..
#6 !!!!
But they are all great!!
All great, going with #6
I MAY HAVE HAVE THYROID CANCER BUT I NOT STUPID, I MAY BE TIRED AND GROUCHY AND I MAY BE PARA-RIDICULAS BUT IM NOT STUPID #9 GETS MY VOTE…gees ( OF COURSE)
# 7 cuz “it’s all in your head” was what I heard for 9 tortuous months. From the medical community. My well-meaning friends thought the depression I felt was “causing” the other symptoms, that my body was “expressing” my anger/sadness with debilitating tendonitis and all the rest. Yes, I definitely felt some frustration, that’s for sure . . .
#6 My hubs (in Afghanistan) said he ran a “Save the TaTas” 5K today. I told him to get back to me when he ran a “Save the Thyroids”…
What is it with men and boobs?
hope you all know I was kidding about voting for myself, I think we are all winners(even tho we all lost something and in most cases it was our sanity)
I have a confession-grew up a strong northern woman–have lived in the south for 18yrs-married a southern man who likes to open doors for me ( my northern sisters stand behind me and whisper spoiled bitch in my ear when they come to visit and i just smile) so you see, how many people does it take to change a light bulb? becomes a moot point for me. my real answer is Only one and his name is “sweetman”—-plus Sarina, i couldn’t have even voted for my self as my entry wasn’t put up on the voting block—-as i said to my breast CA BFF:
” hakuna my ta ta’s “
#12 cause it made me giggle
sitting in the dark, cussing and feeling oh so special,
m;)
AS I sit upon this mighty porcelenn throan with an wupset yummy that might spew and minute
this evening I contemplated the bellybutton alot. Odd peice of human eqyuipment, carries alot of shit in there, once I had a lost peanut and didnt now what the hell did I do with it, got to be carefull of these grandbabies around, and didnt find that little buger till bath time hiding in the button, smellin like hell, I reminding myself, self , life is too short to always bitch,so take a minute or two to enjoy life, ok thats my untyrant for the day
Ok are we fine now resume………………….
Gee I must have a foggy brain and stupid I should have voted for myself…#6 again.
And you never guess what, one of the light bulbs went in my kitchen yesterday, I thought of this and laughed to myself tonight as I sat in semi darkness, thinking how long this time will it take me to change this fooking bulb… first I checked to see we even had a bulb for it, but still haven’t done it yet.. So I thought I would ask all you thycomaniacs to help me out, after all how many of us does it really take to change a light bulb.
I know I can’t do it alone.
Lollythelightareoutandno-oneishome
you are MOST CERTAINLY NOT, never have been and never will be stupid, my sweet.
thanks for voting.
xo
LOL, Lolly — don’t even worry about it!!! We got your back sister!
OMG “Thycomaniacs”?! Another one for the thycabulary.
You are NEVER stupid. Don’t talk soft
.
Did a lightbulb really go out? Oh, so funny…
OMFG ROBYN!!!!!!!!!!! I am cringing WITH you. OYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Everybody likes the boobs. What about the thyroids?
Har. So true. Straight boys love their boobies, at least the ones I’ve met, too.
I love, love, love “Save the Thyroids” run concept. Absolutely fantastic, that.
xo
Thanks for voting beautiful Bee
Lori;
Fabulous and hilarious comment. I must incorporate “Thyrofuckit” into my thycabulary assapy.
xo
k
I relate to the semi-functioning brain and adjunct lonliness, so unfestive. sorry, doll. so glad you’re back. vent any time, just an FYIer
aren’t these entries hilarsquared? I loved each and every one and laughed my ass off. I’m cooking up another contest for next week
very hard to choose, but you did it.
big hugs to you, doll
k
Right?! Fuckin’ hate endoCRINGEologists.
xo
simple and to the point. how are you?
I know, they are, aren’t they?! I love em, too.
Got your vote. thanks, doll
Lollylicious,
always delightful to see you.
thanks for voting.
x to the o
Kristen;
I am pickin up what you are puttin down hard. It’s horrible when doctors tell us it’s in our heads, like we’re so fucking thytarded we couldn’t possibly know our own bodies well enough to know that there’s something wrong.
Shame, shame, shame, on all of them.
xo
Honey pie,
we don’t judge on Dear Thyroid. You know what I mean. You are MORE THAN welcome to vote for yourself and should
I agree, everyone is a winner, to be sure.
xo
Sarina I only wish I had thought of it myself you go girl..I think they were all great, and it wasn’t an easy choice.
I wasn’t judging you just my warped sense of humour.
Thanks, it’s nice when things “flow” isn’t it…It’s been a while…forgot I had it in me…hope this means my increased dose of NDT is starting to kick in, yipeee!
You got my back what about covering my Ass too!!
Could have done with 10 hands today, 1 to hold the bulb, 1 to hold the screw driver, 3 to hold the chairs as I go round the light shade, 3 to unscrew each screw on the shade and one to hold the shade. And the last one to call the emergency when I couldn’t get down from the fucking chair, vertigo…
Katie no kidding light bulb went 2 days ago I got it done today. LOL soft as shit me. But hard as nails.
Bee, aren’t men like that great? I (Liz) have one like that. It’s pretty damn great.