On Twitter and Facebook, we asked our dear readers if they wanted to come up with a name for this column. Thanks to Yodat’s thylliance, we now have a name, Marco Thylo.
Thank you, Yodat. We would like to send you an @DearThyroid T-shirt. Please email Katie for details.
To the rest of our Thyrella and Thyfella readers and writers, we are going to be running some thylicious contests over the next few months with all kinds of kick ass giveaways. In fact, if you scroll down, you’ll see the first one!
New dish on Dear Thyroid; thanks to Mark Davidson’s sage advice to create a podcast and Mary Shomon’s cleverness to turn Tales from Thyietnam into a podcast, we are launching an interactive Tales from Thyietnam podcast with AWESOME guests. More details forthcoming soon.
This week, we had some crazy ass searches. I’m so curious how Dear Thyroid came up on some of these babies. Wait–why fight the fun, right?
- What does it mean to have your thyroid? Instead of answering this one, I’m going to pose the question to our readers. In the comments section, you have until Thursday, August 13th, to come up with a witty, sarcastic, ironic, angry, or a positive response, in under 50 words. We will post each and every response. Everyone will be able to vote until midnight on August 20th. The winner will be announced when we post Thyrants on Saturday, August 22nd. Whoever receives the most votes, wins any T-shirt they wish from the Dear Thyroid Store.
- 1950 radio: Though very new millennium, do podcasts count?
- Pin up reading: Agreed! Pin up dames paired with letters, is thyliterarylicious.
- Speak up images – How much fucking louder would you like them to be? Read between the lines, not just the lines. Oh, you feel me now, huh?
- You rave – We rant. What’s the ish?
- Corn on the cob with butter: Would kill for it. Sadly, most of us don’t indulge in such a treat. Thanks so much for stopping by and taunting us with your food porn.
- Why would they kill your thyroid – So it doesn’t kill us first?!
- Compulsive book collecting: As compared to collecting dead bodies?
- Ass jpg: Send us yours and we’ll decide if you’re worthy of receiving ours.
- Don’t want to be around people thyroid: Aww; are you worried that you can catch a lil’ ol’ thyroid disease by being around us, or touching us? You can’t, pricklette/snatchstick, and while we hate that you think you can, we still wouldn’t wish this horrific vile disease on any of you.
That wraps up this week’s searches. Don’t forget, you have a task at hand. Respond in comments to question #1.
Some things to note: Are you a thymenyrella or a thyperimenyrella? If so, Mary Shomon’s new book “The Menopause Thyroid Solution“ is out. I suggest you grab yourself a copy and fast.
Got any thynews you want mentioned at the end of Thursday’s posts? If so, e-stalk Katie and she’ll be happy to share it!
Tags: Dear Thyroid Search Results, Marco Thylo, Searches Dear Thyroid
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If you know you have a thyroid then there must be something wrong with it.
Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice, Amber! Good one.
That eventually throughout all of the thynonsince, it will be nothing more than a ghost of what should have been there and means that you can survive and stick it out to the very end, but if it had been doing it’s job, it means coca cola, chocolate, and soy.
See my thyroid. My thyroid is mean. Mean. Mean. Mean. It is mean to have MY thyroid. Maybe that’s why it is in perpetual thyme out.
i would like to take full credit for #8, please. apparently i write about this alot, without realizing it, which probably really makes the whole thing neurotic. (and why didn’t anyone tell me?)
I have to say I love the new name!
But I am biased.
#9 – is that what this new photo contest is about? I have to take a picture of my ass that involves hope? You know that could get ugly right??
Great – now I am gonna picture that all day!
I love contests! Sadly, I can’t play. My thyroid has caused some massive thyfog and I don’t understand the question, despite having read it 5 times. Guess this is what having a thyroid means to me?
Because of my thyroid: I look like the writer Colette sans the cigarette in my mouth and a glass of red wine..
because of my thyroid i have had the pleasure of sounding like I smoke 10 packs of cigs a day,looking like a street fighter after someone beat the crap out of my eyeballs, turning into a meatball with legs,and growing a great moustache (i’m a girl) instead of pubic hair
If you had my thyroid for the past four years, you were constipated, forgetful, tired, depressed, and your hair was falling out. You blamed yourself for making choices which led to unhappiness and stress. Now you can blame your cancerous, non-functioning thyroid. You wish knowing this made you feel better.
What does it mean to have my thyroid?
Let’s just say I’ve named it Dr. Thekyl and Mr. Thyde. After a week of the doctor, Mr. Thyde has finally come calling. Tomorrow, who knows! It’s mysterious, savage, and changes with the thides, uh, tides.
Having my thyroid means that you get to look kinda like half of you is smoking crack and the other half is smoking pot. One look at my T.E.D. will tell you that. And one minute i can be talking a 100 words a minute about a subject i am highly educated in and the next minute im like “dude, huh, what?” So “whatever!” You get to tell yourself this over and over again everyday. Also you would get to the end of this and remember what you just read not more than 10 minutes ago, this was supposed to be in 50 words or less. Fuck!! Whatever!! P.S. i deleted alot.
Everyone is submitting AWESOME ANSWERS! I’m so proud of your thylicious outspokenness. Keep it glanding.
These answers KICK ASS, they’re fantastic. You are an inspiring, funny, clever, funny, prolific group of thylicious writers. I am so proud of each of you.
I am so happy right now, I could bust.
Keep those answers coming!
Love,
ME
What does it mean to have my Thyroid?
“Goiter” came back to haunt me- when I was young,I never knew the meaning- but I would use it & repeat it because it sounded so FUNNY!!
Moral of the Thory:
Beware-Thyroids DO have ears!!
(and multi-nodules!)
Having MY Thyroid means ALWAYS having to say “I’m sorry!”
it’s from the movie “Love Story”–quite the tear-jerker…guess Gaye was on the same wavelength as me
Hypo thyroid Gland, going cheap, free shipping!
Beautiful butterfly shaped gland that will provide you with hours of endless puzzles and entertainment – where has my hair / voice / looks / energy / life gone? Who am I and what did I come in here for, anyway? Hypo thyroid gland makes life a rollercoaster ride! with a lucky dip every morning! What will it be today – sore legs? constipation? brain fog? The combinations are endless!! Buy now – guaranteed your life will never be the same again!
What does it mean to have my thyroid? It means behaving like an insomniac nutcase 24/7.And you would want to say sorry to everyone around but you can, ´t because if you tried you would sound like someone who smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day for the last ten years.
OMGGGGG Amber I love this!!! SOOOOO TRUE!! I had no clue a thyroid from a uterus before my diagnosis.
OMG Madison, this one is SOOOOOO great too!!! Bravo!! Yes, I wish mine would do it’s fucking job so I can eat whatever the hell I want and think nothing of it!!
LOL Kathy, you never cease to amaze me with your way with words. You are so talented! I love this. So great!!
Yodat,
LOL. Hope + asses. Who knew??
You’re funny. And thank you again for the title!!! You’re the best!
natasha,
no problem lady, we all get there from time to time!! all you have to do to enter the contest for the shirt giveaway is to answer this: “What does it mean to have your thyroid?” so, in 50 words or less, answer that here on the comment thread. does that make sense? please tell me if not, and i will totally do my best to explain it better! don’t be shy girl!!
because of my thyroid i have had the pleasure of sounding like a squeeky toy,looking like a street fighter after someone beat the crap out of my eyeballs, turning into a meatball with legs,and growing a great moustache (i’m a girl) instead of pubic hair
bee,
Thank you so much for your entry!! Can you explain what you mean by sounding like a “squeeky toy”? LOL, you mean gassy, or what? I’m trying to imagine this in my head, but can’t figure it out exactly. Either way, FABULOUS entry!!
…….in her later years.. fuzzy hair, stout and rummy eyes
Alexia, LOL. Hey, as long as you’re a Colette fan, then there’s no problem right?
This is a great entry on what it means to have your thyroid. Thank you! PS: I for sure _don’t_ at all see you like that 
maybe i should’ve said “froggy” from the Little Rascals (but there are so many of you younguns on here that i didn’t know if you knew who froggy was)Froggy was a small child with a very Deep croaky voice…when my thryroid swells, whenever the hell it feels like it, i get a real squeeky,deeper voice that’s very raspy…i just assumed everyone w/ hypot got to have the pleasure of sqeeky ,hoarse voice.Sorry!
having my thyroid means i no longer get to focus on me,me,me and totally focus on IT,IT,IT
Bee,
Ohhhhh okay. Gotcha. I myself (Liz) don’t deal with this issue. When does your thyroid usually swell? Is it just sporadic? ps: Who knows, some people find a deep, raspy voice sexy right?? Just one more way us ladies (and gents) with thyroid disease are keeping it hott.
Bee, soooooo TRUE. When are we NOT thinking about it??? It gets so consuming! Thank you for your entry, btw!
Sara, GREAT entry!!! Thanks for submitting!!
thy_r88gous,
OMG I literally just LOLed at that first line. HILARIOUS! Great entry!
Laura, wow, this is both sad and unfair. We’re here for you!! Hopefully by now you see our community of thyroidish people is so supportive.
Thank you for your entry! It is real and raw and honest and we can soooo relate!!!
Annie, this is pretty brilliant and funny!!! “Thyroids DO have ears”. That’s just great! And if that’s the case, I’m pretty sure mine understands that I am currently in the process of kicking it’s ass.
“Having a thyroid means always having to say your sorry! ”
( …a take on a movie line from the early 70’s. Anyone know the movie?)
“Having a hypothyroid disease means always having to say your sorry! â€
( ;a take on a movie line from the early 70’s. Anyone know the movie?)
PS-sorry for scewing up my above reply—brain fog is visiting today….
Bee,
I’ve never heard this line, but I love it. I get it sooo much. The reason always changes, but I AM always apologizing for one thing or another — forgetting something, or getting upset, or… whatever it is. Great entry!
Gaye,
This is a great entry!! Like I said to Bee, it is just so true!!! Whatever the reason, for one thing or another, I am always saying sorry… usually for memory issues. Anything specific for you?
Bee, Ahhh… okay. Gotcha. I’ve never seen that movie, but then again, I haven’t seen alot of movies, so…
LOL. Manda, that made me LOL. Very creative entry!! Love it.
Thank you Christina for your entry!!! Very true!! Insomnia is NEVER fun…
Yes it was from “Love Story” but ha ha at the time I that came to me, I could not remember what it was originaly from ! So yes specific brain fog and the general feel like total garbage thing both ways… to my Thyroid: I’m sorry you feel bad and are making me feel bad ..wish I could help you more… To other people: Sorry I feel like crap today… and yestersday and tommorow… so I always feel like apologizing because I have not been 100% for a long time.