Dear Thyroid^TM

(Written by Louise Sopher, Hashimoto’s Patient)

Dear Thyroid,

Prior to the last few months I was constantly occupied with either irritating, hilariously irritating (and stupid), then finally, brilliant eventful occasions. I thought it was about time that we both addressed the way in which you made me turn, point and laugh at myself time after time after hilariously stupid time. Oddly I cannot remember each and every stupid and clumsy thing which you made me do not long ago and somewhere between the summer months and the end of hilariously stupid year. Still, let us try, and laugh at what I do remember:

Stupid thing number one: I lost my brand new—literally days old—Prescription Charge Exempt card (which I do actually thank you for as it is a kind gift). Well, let’s not say lost: it fell out of my wallet as I got either in or out of my car just down the road.

Now I believe that this surely must’ve been a hint by you, Thyroid, of how unappreciated you were of having more pills thrown on your head, although you cannot be angry about that considering that they are supposed to help you. And even if it wasn’t, it certainly was some kind of a reaction by you, considering that any other card could’ve dropped out at that moment – any other card. And there were quite a few.

Now, for a minute, let’s cross stupidity with luck: arriving home I was greeted with that unwelcoming “something’s missing” feeling (as if one card less made my wallet lighter!) and, after several checks of pockets and the car floor, arrived upon the conclusion: “I’ve lost a card!” Hoping to go out for a walk anyway, I decided to switch my usual walk for the minimum hour-long walk down the road, whereupon I found myself standing on the pavement aside the spot where I had that morning parked my car. And there it was: the card I’d lost, still sitting, totally unseen by anyone, waiting for me to rescue it from the streets. Cheers.

I had thought I was lucky. I had thought I was brilliantly clever. But that was just the start of it, because, lo and behold – Stupid thing number two: I sent my paychecks back to the people who sent them to me!

Now that really was stupid. And I’m talking unbelievably stupid. Thyroid, you must of been impressed with your clever act, you evil little bugger. You left me to clear that one up on my own. We victims of bullying thyroids must always work hard to clear up their mess. It’s like a kitchen full of boys: they leave a trail of their stomach-insides.

And it didn’t stop there.

Whilst enjoying walking in my absolute favourite field I would keep dropping my water bottle. One minute it would be in my hand, the next it was on the floor and I was shaking my head, dismayed at myself. It was like my hand had forgotten that it was holding something. I mean, what hand forgets why it’s open, tight around a water-bottle? Clumsy or what!

Thyroid, you turned me into a walking, perfectly sober, drunk. I kept spilling water. On the examinations results day I first dropped papers and then flipped my phone several times over before finally dropping it, receiving the comment of “smooth” from a well-observing friend. Working at a summer camp I joined in with a sports game and couldn’t catch a single ball. What a prat! No one trusted me to be on their team again!

Thyroid, thyroid, thyroid, part of me wants to swear that if you dare fall asleep again I will make sure that nothing changes unless it’s for the good. Nothing. And part of me, if you do that again, wants to scream and shout internally at you – wanna see me when I’m angry? Oh, no, I don’t either!

Yes, thyroid, I know it wasn’t your fault and all that rubbish – it was our immune system gone ruthless; it was your lack of being able to protect yourself…but you know you have to fight sometimes, thyroid? You have to fight.

Look at me, a matter of months ago: I could barely string a sentence together…very little time ago, every now and again, and at the moment, very rarely (please, please don’t let me talk too soon!) I am stalling over my words and going “what was I saying?“. Usually though, when this is happening at the moment it’s because I am thinking so many things at once; because part of me is working faster than my body can keep up with; however when you, Thyroid, are snoozing away, everything works at a snail’s pace – everything works so slow, in fact, that sentences just don’t quite work so well. What’s that saying – that things never sound as good as they did in your head, do they? Now tell me why people choose to drink when they end up like this?

Now, almost certain that the stupidity and clumsiness was now surely over but still having to tidy up the mistakes of my previous acts (receiving a phone call that a letter I’d sent had been received without a most important document) I was half-excited at a new day and half-angry at myself, and I tried to jump over something (as I quite frequently did) and ended up falling over, dislocating my shoulder. That, I hope, was the end of that.

And good riddance too!

Hoping that you will learn a lesson from your outrageous stupidity,

Your finally perfectly un-drunk outer-casing,

Louise

(Bio): Aged 18, I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and I think Hashi’s about a year and a half ago. In May 2009 I saw that the first ever International Thyroid Awareness Week, brilliant though it was, was barely publicised anywhere except on thyroid-related sites. I created my blog: Small But Mighty: A Thyroid Life with the hope of kicking up some of that awareness for the ‘Thyroid Oblivious’ bunch, as well as offering tips to people who have thyroid disease. On my blog on Everyday Health – Life With A Headless Metabolism I’ve been writing about Changes and how they spin around, this way and that way, crafty little buggers, wonderful and horrible, all at once.

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You crept up on me you SOB
Destroyed my life as it used to be
Accused of laziness because I’m tired
A symptom that this illness has sired
Accused of greed because I’m overweight
But I’m hardly ever hungry; I just caught you too late!
Thanks to you, thyroid, I have Epstein-Barr
With you, Hashimoto’s, I will go far
My adrenals conked out a long time ago
My cortisol’s sky-high; my metabolism’s low

Well, it seems I’ve been struck by the family curse
And my health is going from bad to worse
It’s not my way to give up and put up
Although some doctors would rather I shut up!

So I found a new doctor
Neufeldt is his name
Treating thyroids is his game
And that last line is really lame!;-)

Now I have to be patient till he finds the right pill
But that’s bloody hard as I’m feeling quite ill
My whole body aches
The insurance won’t pay
For the necessary chiropractic
Because they say I’m okay
Apparently their doctor knows better than mine
Although he’s never seen me and never touched my spine!
Don’t you think that’s really out of line?

My whole family’s ill – my fiancé, my mother, my sister-in-law and my fiancé’s brother.
It seem this disease is more common than we thought
So why on earth is it so rarely caught?
Is it because the doctors aren’t taught
That TSH alone is just not enough
In fact, diagnosis is really quite tough
My fiancé was a prime example
Our old doctor took a blood sample
And said that his thyroid’s functioning was ample

The new doctor took one look at him
Knew something was amiss
Did sonogram and scintigram
And he could tell from this
That my fiancé was suffering from thyroiditis

It seems this disease is awfully vicious
And its effects are oh so pernicious.
I wish that the world would become more aware
Because non-diagnosis just isn’t fair
And it sucks even more when doctors don’t care
So I read and I read and I learn and I learn
To help myself and others this disease to spurn

Cheers,

Sarah

Get to know Sarah, follow her on Facebook and read more about her at her Translation and Journalism Website. Sarah has also started a discussion in the forums, which we encourage you to join “Inadequate Health Care for UK Thyroid Patients“.

Written by T – Hypothyroid Patient

Dear Thyroid,

Because of you I spend my day looking and researching for ways to make myself feel better. I first gave notice to you when I was in my 30’s, and now 20 years later you still haunt me. I recognized that you were not being a friend to me when I could hardly get out of bed in the mornings and all I really wanted to do was sleep the day away. But I had to hold down a full time job as a home health nurse and the bills had to be paid. I discovered you after researching what could be making me feel so bad.

Not being one that just ran to the doctor for everything, I tried to fix me, but nothing was working so I finally dragged myself to see a doctor. I told him that I was sure that I had a problem with you, hypothyroidism. My hair was falling out. I was too tired to get out of bed. I had no appetite, but was very much overweight. Obese to say the least.

The doctor took some blood and tested your function. My TSH was a whopping 76! No wonder I felt awful! He began me on Synthroid in which I did begin to feel so much better.

But because of you not behaving as you should in my body, I will battle being overweight for the rest of my life. I will battle being in the proper ranges of T3, T4 and TSH for the rest of my life. I will constantly be fighting symptoms and trying to figure out “why”. I will always be looking for solutions to fix the many everlasting problems you cause.

You are always trying to get the best of me and think there are some doctors that like it that way. That is why they prescribe synthroid to those who do not respond to it, as is my case. After being on Synthroid for several years and changing doctors for various reasons, I requested to be able to try Armour Thyroid. And it made a world of difference. I must have started not being able to convert T4 to T3 (or is it the other way around?). Whichever it is, you, my dear thyroid are a constant reminder that you cause turmoil.

It was the middle of last year that I had to change doctors once again, because mine was leaving town. And I chose one that did not believe in Armour Thyroid. I’m sure it is a “money” thing. He didn’t give a hoot that I would not feel better on it, and oh, by the way, my dosage was needing to be changed. For some odd reason my TSH had been within range for a long time, but it began to be very low—almost nonexistent at something like .003. I was having awful symptoms. I was losing hair like crazy, wanting to sleep all the time, heart palpitations, tired, no appetite. The only one that wasn’t an obvious hypothyroid symptom was my heart feeling funny. I only have that when you’re overactive. But no luck losing weight, either.

So I finally started going to another doctor who had no problem putting me on Armour. I was so depressed, my hair kept falling out, and I suffered from muscle cramps with the smallest movement. I had no appetite but I was putting on more pounds. I knew that my levels were still not right. But since being changed to Armour, I am feeling much better and less depressed. And by the way, my new doctor did confirm that some doctors along with the pharmaceutical companies pushed synthroid because of not having control of the”natural” thyroid. In other words they don’t make money on it, the bottom line.

I know I will always be at battle with you. You are the thorn in my side. But I will not go down without a fight. I am on constant watch for new procedures that will defeat your fight to put me out of balance. Oh my dear thyroid, look out! I’m on a mission to put you back in your place and have you to be behaving once again.

Signed,

T

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How long have you dealt with your thyroid problems, diagnosed and undiagnosed? Did you know there was something wrong long before you went to the doctor, but couldn’t quite put your finger on what it was? What proactive measures do you take to fight back? Let “T” and all of us in the thyamily know in comments!

Written by Lori (Hypothyroid Patient)

Dear Thyroid,

My post holiday shopping was ruined because of you.

My whole family was affected by my bad mood. Why was I in a bad mood? Because of you and your stupid inactivity, why can’t you understand that I am tired of feeling so fat and sluggish?

You know this, I did not eat ONE SINGLE fattening thing over the holidays. I ate all vegan food. I never touched the fudge, cakes, pies, ham, or anything else, so proudly displayed on the table at my mom’s house. Did I lose a single pound? NOT ONE! Your lazy ass decided not to burn any calories leaving me feeling bloated and fat.

So, the bad mood started when I discovered I would have to move up to a 40 C bra. I have never had a bra that big… EVER. The “C” is fine, but NOT the 40. My boyfriend thought he was helping when he pointed out that I should not feel badly because he wears 40 waist pants. Oh wow! That helps a lot, thanks BF. I am almost as mad at him as I am at you, evil thyroid!

I can’t even mention the size of clothes I had to buy out of desperation to keep warm because, thanks to you, I froze my ass off in Florida. I have never felt so cold to the bone!

So, I guess if I was a pig and ate crap during the holidays, this anger would be directed at myself, but it’s not, it is directed where it belongs! At you! So, it would be nice if you would figure out what you are going to do and get to work and stop being a lazy ass because I have done everything I know how to do.

I hate you. A lot!

Lori

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WOW – Lori is angry. Her body has completely changed. She’s become physically unrecognizable to herself, something we can all relate to. Have you made peace with your ‘new self’ or do you feel as angry and frustrated as Lori? Speak up, beautiful babies.