Written by Kay – Thyroid-What-Isn’t-The-Issue
Dear Thyroid –
Dang, but I’ve said some nasty things about you in the last 3 years! Things I shouldn’t have said about my worst enemy, let alone a part of my own body. I’ve blamed you for everything: my bad moods, my lack of libido, my inability to lose weight regardless of diet or exercise – everything!
Now, it’s not to say that some of these things aren’t your fault. Who could blame a girl for seeing all her symptoms match up perfectly with a list of symptoms of your failure?  The dry hair, the dry skin, the weight gain around my middle, the inability to finish sentences or finding a random word to finish the sentence, and the short term memory of a mayfly. Even my doctors thought it was all your fault, how could I tell that they were wrong? Taking drugs to replace your function made me feel better, some of the time, but then you’d appear to fail again, and we’d need to adjust, fail and adjust, fail and adjust.
I know I’m almost 40, I’m approaching that dreaded “middle age”, and all the hype around it makes me just want to go medieval on the world at times. I could blame you for a lot of the crap making that worse as well, and I wouldn’t be entirely wrong there either. “This just happens sometimes to women your age.” “Some women just have this problem.” “You’re not sick, you’re just not well.”
I know, now, that I had crap doctors.  Ones that were treating the number and not the patient.  Ones that were willing to blame the patient – her age, her husband (yeah, what the hell?), her mind – for her own problems.  Ones that saw only individual symptoms and their treatment, in an astounding exhibition of professional tunnel vision.
But, I’m sorry. I apologize. It’s not all your fault, and it’s even possible that you were just dealing in your own way with a shitstorm caused by other parts of my body. It doesn’t help that those parts of the body are also controlled by the little nubbin of brain that also controls you. Might you have just been caught in the crossfire? I’ve worked my ass off this year, pushing and pushing, to get doctors to answer my questions, to get them to be curious, and to give me answers that make sense.
You see, waaaaay down at the other end of the body are these things called ovaries. You and they don’t talk directly to each other, but you have a lot to do with one another in a round-about, body metabolism kind of way. They make estrogen and progesterone, which affects huge parts of my body, you make thyroid hormones, which affect huge parts of my body. See where there could be conflict and confusion? Will you forgive me for thinking it was all your fault?
Now, please understand Dear Thyroid, my ovaries are particularly misbehaved and produce large obnoxious cysts. And when they decide to go away, they don’t do it quietly. Oh, no! They explode in an estrogen and progesterone bomb, leaving it to the rest of the body to deal with the consequences of their bad attitude. Hair loss! Weight gain! PMS whole cycle round! This is a toxic clean-up operation that can last months on end. Without fail, they just start up again, producing more and bigger cysts, which even un-exploded are not happy residents and cause all kinds of problems in the neighborhood.
And in the middle, Dear Thyroid, between you and the ovaries are these things called a Liver and an Intestine. These guys are supposed to do the clean up of the mess from those danged ovaries, and they been doing a truly shoddy job.
Oh, and I’m sorry about the whole vitamin D thing. I was as completely shocked by that as you are. I can tell now that bits I blamed on you, in the depths of the winter, and even in the middle of summer, were likely not your fault at all! I thought I ate enough dairy, and drank enough milk, but I was nowhere near what I required there. I blamed my winter sluggishness on the clouds and on you, Dear Thyroid, and have always needed a medication adjustment in the spring.
So, I want to apologize to you, Dear Thyroid. I’m working with new doctors who actually listen and work the whole problem, not just TSH levels. I’ve had CT scans, ultrasounds, and more vials of blood drawn than I ever imagined. I’ve talked to gynocologists, endocrinologists, immunologists, and truly great general practitioners. I think we’re getting a handle on the whole body. The infections may be under control for the moment. The where-the-heck-did-this-come-from weight has gone away again (thank you vitamin D!). I actually have energy and am looking forward to starting to work out again. I’m not dragging myself around anymore, and none of the changes have directly involved you.
I promise to work harder – on changing my diet so that yeast and bacteria don’t get out of control, on eating more protein so I have energy throughout the day, on eating the things that I should be and getting the exercise that I need. I also promise to work hard with my acupuncturist and my new doctors to make sure I stay on track.  And to keep pestering them so that they stay on track, too.
Dear Thyroid, I’m actually looking forward to my next thyroid function test so that you can show me how excellently you’re doing!
p.s. Hey ovaries? Yeah, you! You’re on warning.  Quit screwing things up. I’ve got a life to live.
Bio: Kay is a former academic, trained in anatomy and physiology, which is why she’s been so ticked by doctors giving her advice and treatment that made no earthly sense (sure! I’ll take those antibiotics once a week, ad infinitum, so that not only can I have bacterial infections for the rest of my life, they can be antibiotic resistant!) She’s now a SAHM, makes things with sticks, string, and fabric, and is constantly in search of a vocation.
Dear Thyroid Feeds