Dear Thyroid^TM

Written by Mike Wilson (Undiagnosable Thyroid Patient)

Dear Thyroid,

I haven’t written to you in a long time.  And this is a good thing!  We should both be happy about this fact.  I know I am, and I hope you are.

Something must be going right.  Don’t stop whatever it is you’re doing (or not doing).

Have you been feeling swollen lately?  No.
Have I been feeling sluggish lately?  No. (Well, not beyond my usual lazy self…)
Have I experienced brain fog?  No.
or Irritable Male Syndrome?  No.
or extremely rapid skin, nail, and hair growth?  No.  (OK, well, the finger- and toenails a little…)

It’s winter… you usually demand a dosage change to support your levothyroxine habit.  But you haven’t (O the joy!)
And I’ve been sleeping well most every night, and it feels good to rest so much on the weekends… actual healthful rest, not “exhaustion recovery”.

No, it’s been smooth, sailing for several months now.  I cannot remember the last time this happened.
I’ve felt good enough to finish my graduate research, kick Masters Degree ass at my thesis defense, do the job of two people at work, start shopping for a house, and I even got almost all of my holiday shopping done today.  I must not be giving you any grief, because you haven’t given me any grief.  This is how symbiosis is supposed to be, right?

I even turned an actual, real pumpkin into two pies for Thanksgiving in just about 3 hours.  That used to take me 2 days in the past.  Yup, we did good, quick, quality work on that orange squash, didn’t we?  It’s these little things in life that make the difference.  Thanks Thyroid for that!

I think you must be pleased that I significantly reduced the caffeine in our diet.  I know now that you had difficulty with it, and would inadvertently make Heart flustered.  I didn’t like that feeling either.  And, I’m wondering if the niacin is helping you out.  Skin hates it, because the flushing feels like mustard gas pumping through his pores, but he’s tough, he’ll get over it.  Not like you, since we’ve established how delicate and fragile and special you are and how much coddling you need.  That’s just how you are.

Anyway, three cheers for at last four months of stable metabolic bliss at an enjoyable level.  Huzzah!  Huzzah!  Huzzah!
In your honor, I shall compose thyku:

I have accepted
My thyroid and all its faults
That’s just how we are

When my thyroid feels
Miserable, unhappy
I know so will I

It’s not thyroid’s fault
Something else made it that way
Common enemy

Happiness and health
Are friends walking hand in hand
Each helps the other

I cannot know all
The things my thyroid needs, but
I do what I can

Here’s a magic word:
Triiodothyronine
Artificial life

Dear Mr. Santa
For Christmas please bring to me
Free liposuction

Mike is a 36-year old male suffering from hypothyroidism of mysterious cause for almost 10 years now.  He believes that knowledge is power, and that true healing cannot happen without fully understanding the entire situation.  Examining the opposing point-of-view is essential to obtain knowledge and understanding.  The greatest discoveries come from thinking differently.

Check out Mike’s website.