Dear Thyroid^TM

To our American readers, Happy Thygiving. may your thyroids gland calmly in the canyon today.

Before we get started, that sounds so seminaree, please pardon the rather jacked font issues we’re having on the site. I think the site’s hyperthyroid. One day, the font is Georgia, the next it’s Times New Roman. We are in the process of resolving these issues. Kindly give us a few days. Thank you for your patience. My apologies for the inconvenience.

We are still continuing our Dear Thyroid Local Meet Ups. In fact, we’ve added two new cities. The online support and community that we’ve created as a family is outstanding. Offline support has enormous power, too. It brings us closer to each other and makes us feel less alone, evidenced by the Pembroke, MA meet up. Please join us. Email Katie@dearthyroid.com and provide me with your location and email address. I will connect you with Dear Thyroidians in your city. One meet up can lead to monthly meet ups and support groups. How exciting is that?!

We’ve just launched “Wearing My Disease On My Sleeve™“, an endeavor that we believe will further our collective objective, to drag our asses out of the Thyloset, empower ourselves and change the face of thyroid diseases and cancers. I believe in us, and our collective power to invoke change. Who wants in?!

We’ve revised our “About Us” page, which includes our Positioning Statement and our Mission Statement. I digress, please forgive the jacked font and spacing issues, we’re working on it.

We have a very exciting new kind of Meet Up that we’re deploying, created by two of our very own community members, Lolly and Billie. They’ll be sharing with us shortly.

In December, we are launching a really exciting Blog Tour hosted by Dear Thyroid called “Thyoliday Blues and Truths”. We’ll be introducing the community to some kick ass bloggers in the thyroid disease and thyroid cancer communities. If you’re interested in participating, we’d love to have you! Please email katie@dearthyroid.com for details. (Special Thanks to our good friend @leahjones for this thytastic idea.)

Searches to be posted next week. As you can see, lots of change in the Gland Canyon continues, but it’s pretty damn good change, donchya think?

Love,

Me

Recently, it occurred to me just how many parallels there are in our “real” lives that intersect our diseases.

For example, we’ve been having issues with our .org email addresses. I can receive .org email, but I can’t respond via .org. This makes me feel constipated, like my intestines are stockpiling shit and my puckered rectum is begging for an explosion. Hello Hypo!

The other night when I was on my way to meet my brother, I was stuck in traffic—hate traffic. Encircled by cars, most so frustrated, they revved their engines and forced their way past other cars. As if they had to go first, these drivers needed to be right. Hello endocrinologist!

I have a vintage car. I should get rid of it, but I can’t. I love it too much. Lately, it’s been overheating unless I crank the fuckin’ heater. Overheating throws the entire engine off and can ruin your car, requiring an engine overhaul. Hello Hyper!

In what ways do your lives intersect with your disease? Discuss!

This week’s searches:

1. Condoms graves eye disease—unless you’re planning to fuck my lady balls, which you do not have permission to do, I highly doubt you’ll need a condom. Don’t worry, it’s not contagious. Dumb ass.
2. “What am I new?”—This is one of my favorite sayings. I say it all the time. So glad Dear Thyroid came up for this.
3. “You have been targeted for termination”—Do you have a WII game in mind for us to terminate our thyroids?
4. Another way to be deliciously—Thylicious? Thyempowered? Or eaten?
5. Can u bye home thyroid kits—This is a good un’. The typo is tits bye because it’s so ironic in this context. Who wouldn’t love to find goodbye, please home thyroid kits?!
6. Endocriminologist—Aren’t they all? Just kidding, not all of them. Unfortunately, most of them. We love good endocrinologist yarns.
7. Eating dairy creates glue—In your intestines? I’ll leave that one for Liz. However, I will say this, dairy bungs me up big time unless I’ve been a good vegan soldier and have a little dairy, than my ass is a three ring circus.
8. feeling like shit on thyroxine—Hey, good news, you’ll feel like shit on Synthroid, Armour and Nature-throid, too. Happy?
9. Glutitch—Sounds like a Dear Thyroid Glossary word, right?
10. Goiter when to go to the emergency room—When you can’t fucking breathe or when you feel like it’s choking you. Scratch that. Go now, right now.
11. How can your thyroid mess your body up—How can’t it is the question.
12. How to cure roid rage—Ha! Good one.
13. How to fuck your thyroid—That’s the beauty of thyroid diseases and thyroid cancers, we get to fuck ourselves. Think of it is thysturbation.
14. I am too fat for this shit—Who you tellin?! Most of us are. All of us who are HATE IT and feel the same way. Welcome home, honey buns.

Dear Thyroid Offline Support Updates

Do not forget, tomorrow night, two of our fabulous dames will be meeting up in Pembroke, MA @ 6:30 PM.

Chicago, what’s up, yo? We have five fabulous dames ready to roll. Do we have a date scheduled? Any other Chicago Dear Thyroidians care to join?

Raleigh, what’s up, yo? We have two kick ass broads ready to roll. Where are we at? Any other Thyrellas care to join?

To find out more about offline support and to get your city listed, please click here. If you want to meet up in any of the cities already listed, email Katie with your email address and location.

Finally, if you haven’t read Chronic Babe’s “Patients for a Moment” line up, please do. There are some unbelievable stories that are inspiring, heartbreaking and funny—all of them are so life affirming.

Love,

Me

When I wrote last week’s Marco Thylo, I was riding the snatch express, venting, lamenting and ranting my guts out. After reading everyone’s entries (punch lines) to the question, How many women and, or men with thyroid disease or thyroid cancer does it take to change a light bulb?, I was so busy laughing my ass off, I found the nearest stop and promptly removed my World Wide Web of an ass from the train.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. Your entries were hilarious and fabulous. But, enough about me. You have one week to vote on the winning entry. The winner will receive a t-shirt from the Dear Thyroid store. Vote your hearts out. They’re all so good, I don’t know how you’ll be able to choose a winner. I know I couldn’t. Good luck everyone. You’re all winners in my book.

1. AMY: None. We are all too tired, our energy is drained, and our brains are too fuzzy.

2. MONICA: No need to change it. Those with insomnia would rather keep it off so they can try to get some sleep and the rest are too tired to care.

3. JOANNA: Oh, the light bulb burned out? I thought that was thyroid fog sending me into a new realm of mental darkness.

4. HD: Our endo docs don’t want the bulb changed, they much prefer us in the dark.

5. LOLLY: Light bulb, hahaha don’t make me laugh, never mind how many people does it take, don’t you mean how many months. Now if I hit that switch one more time I’m going to go fucking crazy, now where’s that god damn flower bulb!!!

6. M: Oh, we couldn’t possibly change it on our own. There would probably be a specialist brought in to assess the situation, a surgeon saying ‘take it out’, a doctor saying ‘leave it in’, friends would drop by to say ‘it looks fine to me’ or ‘it’s changed already just get over it and move on’. We’d need our family close by for moral support and we’d probably need to log on to ‘Dear Lightbulb’ regularly to purge our pent up feelings of frustration, turmoil and regret at ever setting eyes on the screwy little bulb in the first place;-)

7. KATHY: Um, I had my light bulb tested.. Even though it’s not working, the electriciocrinologist says that it is working just fine. Funny, it doesn’t feel like it’s working. It’s pretty dark in here. Is it all in my head?

8. CASSANDRA: Well you see that depends, how long do you have to listen? It all started when I was misdiagnosed the first of 10 times.. . . …..

9. SARINA: three doctors three opinions, 2 surgeries, 2 infections, 2 pending cat scans and two weeks for the results, I wish the light bulb would go out for two weeks so I didnt have to think about it, see anyone or worry for two whole weeks, I couldnt even get out of bed today, it was a miserable day times 2………ok tired again back to my blankey and pillow…………..

10. ZARI: Since I was in too much of a daze to either pay the electric bill or notice that it’s dark, I don’t see the point of questions about light bulbs. Besides the ! 131 made me glow in the dark

11. NATASHA: Lightbulb?? I don’t need no stinkin’ lightbulb! I just need to channel all my hyper energy into the outlights and it will be brighter than a college student at midterms.

12. PAULA: It takes one, but she never changes it because she’d rather sit in the dark and feel oh so very depressed and special, and it gives her something else to cuss about.

Please leave your votes in comments.

Love,

ME