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She’s Still Standing AND Living, Take That, Thyroid

Post Published: 27 July 2009
Author:
Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 14 responses. Leave a comment

Dear Thyroid,

It’s been 14 days since you have been gone. It has been 14 days since you have been taken out of my swollen neck, killed and thrown away. It has been 14 days since not only you died, but also the girl you forced me to become over the last 7 years died as well. It has been 14 days since the new and improved, formerly imprisoned “me” has begun to emerge. It has only been 14 days and I can already see the light.

I am seeing the world with a new set of eyes. I am reawakened, I am reborn and I feel lucky to be given a second chance. It was not until you were gone that I understood the extent of just how deeply you affected me. You forced me to strap on a pair of gray colored glasses, dulling my entire existence. You not only made me physically sick, but you took the color right out of my life without me even realizing it.   Even on the so-called good days, my life lacked color, lacked enthusiasm, lacked passion. I would smile and laugh and go through the motions of life as a zombie. I was a half dead comma patient somehow making it through my colorless black and white life.

This past weekend I felt something so unfamiliar, so overwhelming, so foreign to me and so colorful that it brought me to tears. It was pure, uninhibited, non-forced, totally genuine JOY. The smile I had on my face was unfeigned; the laughter coming from my voice was real. It took me a moment to step back and ask myself what I was feeling at that very moment to realize that you were gone, I was not only still standing, but I was living in a world of vibrant color again. The sky was bluer, the trees were greener, my hands did not tremble, my heart did not palpitate, my body was not begging for rest, my mind was not in a mess of foggy clouds. I was alive, I was energized, I was seeing in vibrant Technicolor again and I feeling pure and true emotions of happiness and joy. It was unbelievable.

I do not blame you and I harbor no anger towards you. This was and is my path and with genuine joy and happiness I await to see where this path with lead me next. I wear bandages where you once lived, diseased and fighting for your life, and I wear them with pride. It has only been 14 days and the light ahead is already so bright, so vivid, so colorful and so beautiful and it is because of you that I can have a newfound appreciation for it. It has only been 14 days and I cannot wait to see who I become without you.

Rachel C.-

“Graves Disease, No Longer At war after 7 years

Thyroidless and Strong

Proud to be The Last One Standing”

*Rachel Also Wrote “Dear Thyroid, I will be the last one standing, not you.

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14 Responses to “She’s Still Standing AND Living, Take That, Thyroid”

  1. Anastasia says:

    Oh, Rachel! This is a beautiful letter.

    How valiant of you to harbor no resentment to your (now) decimated butterfly gland. Best of luck with your healing.

    Anastasia

  2. Marilyn says:

    Rachel, your letter is beautiful. Thank you for writing it. I wish you the best as you recover from surgery! Sounds like you are well on your way.

  3. quin browne says:

    To your thyroid, good riddance!! To your new life–enjoy!

  4. Susan says:

    Welcome to the land of the living. LOL I love your description of coming back to a technicolor world. We so often get zapped and the color goes out so gradually that we don’t notice the difference ourselves but need others to tell us that the world indeed looks different and you aren’t seeing it as you used to. It is like getting glasses and a tree that once was a blob now becomes intricaltely laced with leaves and branches.

  5. Zari says:

    A very nice, very moving letter.

    A word of advice from a former Graves sufferer. I felt great for a month. So great that I figured I could postpone my monthly post treatment blood test by a couple of weeks. Extremely huge mistake….. When, not if, you start to feel the effects of the lack of thyroid, call your doctor and tell him and start the synthroid or whatever he prescribes. If this just happens to fall in between scheduled visits and tests, well that’s time to reschdule

    In the meantime enjoy your new sense of life. No reason for it not to last a really long time.

    Zari

  6. Pam says:

    Hi Rachel,

    I have Graves’ too. Great letter and best wishes for a successful and quick recovery from surgery.

    Pam

  7. Stone Cold says:

    Dear Rachel,
    So beautifully written it touches me as i can totally relate to it. It reminded me my fear when I nearly turned blind 7 months ago from a rare eye disease. How my days & life have changed from that moment.
    My eye is still being treated now, but given that experience, i m not the same person.
    Thank you so much for sharing.

    Take good care.
    SC

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