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Dear Thyroid Thearches, PS: This Column Really Needs a Thytle

Post Published: 30 July 2009
Author:
Category: Marco Thylo, thyroid humor, Thyroid humor column
This post currently has 3 responses. Leave a comment

Hello Dear Thyroidians;

Stay tuned, we’ve got some exciting news we’ll be spilling in the next week or so.

As much I’d love to provide a philosophical or insightful intro, I got nothin’ today, must be in thytard mode.

Onto this week’s searches Dear Thyroid came up on. As always, I have not changed the spelling. Some of these…  I don’t know if I’m on spin or rinse.

  1. Thyroid rage: First; Duh?! Second; If you want to give it a whirl, I suggest you spend a few weeks in thyroid psychoses. You can achieve this via severe hyperthyroidism or Graves’ disease, ya know, for kicks.
  2. I hate thyroid: I know, sugar bear. We do, too. I’m pretty damn sure there isn’t a thyroid jacked or thyroid cancer patient who doesn’t.
  3. Losing my mind thyroid: For the first, second or third time? Speaking for myself, a pap smear, colonoscopy and mammogram, while being orally gang banged by gnomes pales in comparison to losing one’s mind.
  4. Graves disease brown spot inside mouth: Check your pookie or your pecker, cause you got em’ there, too. You can thank me later.
  5. Can your thyroid kill you? Well, of course it can, button kitten, that’s why doctors take a lackadaisical posture on thyroid disease, or pawns us off on shrinks. I guess the kick backs on our medication aren’t as high as they were. The economy, perhaps?
  6. Fan venting messes: We need to work through this as a family. Is this about fans? Ventilation? Sure, both of those things can make you feel like a hot mess. However, if you are calling thyroid patients venting about their disease and cancer, messes, you see the mouse by your hand? I know you’re not the sharpest pill in the bottle, but I’d like you take it and shove it as far up your ass as you can while it’s plugged into your computer. Love, me
  7. Thyroid clothing:  Like hemp clothing? Dude, fucking brilliant! Let’s see if we can get a line of clothing made out of our thyroidectomized thyroids. I’m down.
  8. Sugary white vaginas: Liz found this one and loved it, as do I. We both agree, finally someone comes up with a pretty image for our split knishes. Very nice.
  9. Harry potter and half-bloud princess: WTF?!
  10. Hyperthyroidism cure time frame: Sweet. When you get an ETA, be sure to let us all know. By all, I mean millions of women and men who have had this disease for 3-50 years, just an FYI. Not trying to be a snatch package, or anything.
  11. Killing the thyroid: Got a plan? Spill.
  12. Halloween “my feminine side” I think I love you.

Thyfun aside, here are some great thyngs to check out.

In the thymmunity, we all know Mary Shomon’s new book “The Menopause Thyroid Solution” Overcome Menopause by Solving Your Hidden Thyroid Problems, is out, yes? Yes! A companion website has also been launched that we simply must visit, Menopause Thyroid.

Congratulations Mary!

Mary will be speaking about her book this weekend. Check it out and pass it along.

Saturday, August 1st, @ 7 a.m. EDT: Mary Shomon will be with her wonderful doctor, Kate Lemmerman, MD on Joe and Terry Graedon’s hour-long nationally syndicated radio show, The People’s Pharmacy. The show airs live on many stations with numerous rebroadcasts, as well as live streams online. The show will also be podcast at their site, The People’s Pharmacy, or by hitting Mary’s new site, Menopause Thyroid.

Also, on Saturday, August 1st @ 6-8 PM Central: Mary will be the guest speaker for two hours on KLBJ’s “The Patrick Timpone Show,” on 590KLBJ Austin, Texas. Listen live in Austin on KLBJ’s website, also online at Live Internet stream.

For upcoming Thyvents, speaking engagements and such, visit Mary’s site.

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3 Responses to “Dear Thyroid Thearches, PS: This Column Really Needs a Thytle”

  1. manda says:

    hee hee hee, again 🙂

    and also..

    awww, i don’t like surprises – i want exciting news now! (stamping feet)m

    ps. Halloween “my feminine side” – I think she was looking for thyroid clothing to cover up her sugary white vagina?

  2. lizschau says:

    my favorites this week: 2, 6, 8, 11, 12

    i die laughing every time.

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