Thyck You, Thyroid!
Dear Joyce’s Thyroid,
Let’s just get this out of the way. Screw you. You have screwed me in ways that I never thought possible. I am now going to doctor number 5 trying to get you straightened out. I’m trying to help you here!! Stop fighting against me!!,
I will never forget how fat you made me because I have my brother’s wedding pictures to remind me of that. Then I start exercising and actually manage to lose some weight and inches and begin to feel pretty good about myself again. My husband can’t keep his hands off me. All right! Things might be turning around. Except now, my vagina is broken. Sex? Who wants that? Who has the energy for that? I feel like I could live the rest of my life without it, and my husband is pissed. What kind of marriage is that?
I feel like I am in a fog most days. I can’t remember shit. My husband doesn’t get it. All he sees is that all I want to do is sleep. I have a better relationship with my couch than with my husband!, I have turned into a major bitch-bitchiness was there before, but now it’s worse. It’s worse mainly because I can’t function because I am so damn tired!!, And depressed. That’s just the best. I am now I am on medication for that. Just can’t get enough, can you?
My blood pressure is up, my cholesterol is up, and I feel like shit. Thank you for the hospital bill, the bill for the sleep apnea machine, and the uncomfortableness of sleeping with headgear and a mask. That worked for a while, and then you decided to screw up my sleep cycle. Now I can’t sleep. When I want to sleep, it is at the most inappropriate times-at work, during a meeting, driving home. Thanks, I owe it all to you. That panic I felt when I nearly drove off the road because I dozed off-that’s a feeling no drug can give you.
Plus, I have you to thank for all the money I spent at Weight Watchers trying to lose weight. Boy that was money well spent. A year of WW and I lost a whole 10 pounds. A year of stressing out about what I ate, counting those damn points, and then switching to their Core program, and I still gained weight. I joined a new gym too. Then I gained 6 pounds in a week-then the gym manager told me it was what I put in my mouth. “Weight loss is simply calories in, calories out. You are eating too much. You aren’t doing enough cardio… Thanks for that humiliation. Nothing is better than having someone look at you like you are lying when you are telling the truth. I can starve myself, cut back to 1400 calories a day, and still gain weight. How is that physically possible?? Gaining 25 pounds in the past couple of months despite exercising 3 times a day, for an hour a day is mind boggling. So, in another effort to help you, I added in yoga 2 days a week.
I do everything I’m supposed to do, and you still screw me. In my last effort to help you I quit taking birth control pills. That hasn’t worked either-I have gained more weight. And the acne — I have worse acne now than when I was a teenager!!
I feel like you have made me a medical mystery. Now I find out from doctor #4 (that my husband found in his effort to help his basket case wife) that doctor #3 is overmedicating me, so he is sending me to doctor #5, an endocrinologist, who I have been waiting to see for almost 2 months.
I want to get better, I really do, but you keep taking all hope away from me. One day I WILL get the better of you.
Quietly waiting to take my revenge and it will be sweet,
(Bi0) My name is Joyce Corley. I am 32 years old. I have been dealing with this thyroid stuff for about 5 years now, and my family has been suffering with me. On day I will find the doctor who will help me. I am on doctor #5 now.
Tags: Dear Thyroid, Dear Thyroid Community, Dear Thyroid Letters, epistolary series, hypothyroid disease support, letters to thyroid glands, letters to thyroidectomized selves, letters to thyroids, thyroid blog, thyroid disease, Thyroid patient letters, thyroid support