Dear Thyroid and Thyroid Carrier,
It is with great pleasure that I can inform you that the tests, performed show that you have only 10% or less, of your THYROID function left and that it is shown that you have antibodies attacking your, person at a rate which will give you a survival rate of less than, 2%. In other words, we expect your prognosis of THYROID FUNCTION to be 1-2 years at the utmost.
We at the company do, appreciate your contribution to the destruction of Thyroids around the world and apologize, for any inconvenience to your person…we appreciate your valued input into our clinical trial of a new thyroid drug. It was conducted on 70,000 unsuspecting thyroids in New Zealand. We have also been pursuing other countries around the world, i.e. Denmark etc. in an effort to increase Chemical reliance.
You will be pleased to hear that it has been shown to have had positive results and managed to kill off many thyroids and upset the endocrinal system of many Thyroid Carriers. The results of such tests were:
New diagnosis of Hashimoto’s disease and Graves’ disease, we had an upsurge of Thyroid cancer. Also as a byproduct we had many incidences of Stroke and High Cholesterol, Gall bladder disease and Digestion issues, Allergies, Suicidal thoughts, and Mental illness. We suspect it will also increase the likelihood of further autoimmune disease. It seems we are winning the War on Thyroids and with their removal or destruction, it will increase consumption and dependence on Pharmaceutical drugs i.e. Prozac, Beta-Blockers, which have been prescribed at levels well beyond our imagination.
We would also like to, show appreciation to, Doctors and Medical, fraternity for their contribution and will be providing Awards and many subsidies towards new cars and overseas holidays, for their due diligence.
We would like to express our gratitude to your service to Pharmaceuticals by awarding you THE GOLD BUTTERFLY AWARD and Honorary LIFE membership of Pill Poppers.
–PS– Because of the holiday weekend, if you missed Megan’s letter Thycancereally?! I Thought We Were Glanding Along, please give it a read, she and her letter are must reads.