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Why Are You Doing This To Me, Thyroid?

Post Published: 06 October 2009
Author:
Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 19 responses. Leave a comment

Dear Thyroid,

Do you realize what you are doing to me? I am in my mid-twenties, but because of you, I have to take a nap each day like a 3-year-old. Every day I try to do my best at school but it seems like I just can’t seem to concentrate for more than 10 minutes. Thanks for making me feel like an idiot. And what about chocolate? You know how I like chocolate, but just looking at it makes me gain 2 pounds.

I have been dealing with you for a long time without even knowing it. A few months ago, I actually thought I was just fat and tired. And now I know that I am sick. It is kind of a relief, because I can fight those, and the many other symptoms, but I am constantly reminded of you.

Every day I wake up knowing that I am sick and that I will be sick for the rest of my life. As frustrating as that is, there is something worse, that has nothing to do with you, dear thyroid, for a change.

It’s the way people react when I tell them about my disease. A few have been very supportive, and, I especially want to thank @ThyroidMary for her help and support here. Most people told me that I finally have found an excuse for being fat and lazy. Isn’t that nice?

I am helping you, my dear thyroid, now by taking the meds you and I need to go through this. And how do you thank me for that? You are turning me into a manic depressive insomniac. I have seen more doctors in the past few weeks than in my whole life before. I had to get all the information on what’s wrong with you on my own.

I did all this to make sure we get along. So could you do something for me for a change? Please let me go back to the person I was before you and I got sick. Please, just give me back my life.

(Bio) My name is Christina Hutten and I am 25 years old.I got diagnosed with Hashimotos disease two weeks ago, but I have been dealing with it for a long time before that and there is almost nothing left of my thyroid.

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19 Responses to “Why Are You Doing This To Me, Thyroid?”

  1. Christina,
    I SO HEAR you. I keep my Hasimoto’s secret for so long before I told anyone about it. Since finding this site it has helped me see the light and now I am shouting it from the rooftops! But I kinda get the same reactions that you do when explaining it to others. Most people believe that taking naps and gaining weight are choices we make and not symptoms of the disease. I have also had people go “eh” when I explain my disease. That’s the point where my eyes pop out of my head! HOW can they not care about this? I feel like I need to shake them!
    That is why this site is so important to me. YOU ALL GET IT. You all understand that it was my thyroid that made me go to bed at 8:30 PM. It was my thyroid being lazy that didn’t want me to put on make up today.

    For this site and the letters I read – I am VERY thankful to have found all of you!

  2. Bee says:

    Christina, you poor thing…you’re newly diagnosed and I bet you’re doing the same thing I did when I got the Verdict—you’re researching like crazy, trying to figure all this out and it’s making you nuts—-news flash—even if you wear your fingertips to little nubbins you will never find the answer to the most obvious question; Why Me?! So join the ride, & don’t wish for things that may not be possible like going back to that other person… you can’t go back; but you can move forward 1 step at a time…we’re here to hate your thyroid/ life/ tiredness when you need us to and we’re here to celebrate a good day/a laugh/ a good lab result when you need us also…Just Ask

  3. Lolly says:

    Hi Christina,

    Sorry you have this disease, even if you have had it for some time now you have only just been diagnosed and it will take time for you to feel anywhere near to how you used to.
    The truth is do we ever feel the same again, what we do learn to do is adapt to the new you.

    If people are saying things to you like “You have now found an excuse”, insert middle finger and walk away, they are not your friends mere acquaintances that have no time because they don’t understand, it’s called ignorance, until they have walked in our thyroshoes they will never comprehend the enormity of how it can turn your life upside down.

    I wish you well on your medication, educate yourself on this disease, you have to be your own advocate, always ask for hard copies of your Lab results including the normal reference ranges.

    Thank you for sharing your dear thyroid letter and speaking out.

    Welcome thyboard,

    Lolly

  4. queenofoptimism says:

    Hi Christina,
    Wow, so newly diagnosed and so much to deal with. I hope your treatment will help you get your sleep regulated soon. Lack of sleep is enough to make anyone loopy, let alone those of us who struggle with Hashi’s, too. It’s a lot to wrap your head around. I’m here if you ever want to rant, cry, whatever.

    Hugs,
    @hyperchondria

  5. Sarina Bray says:

    thanks Lolly for the good wishes, I had the surgery one week ago, and still have to have a cat scan in three weeks to make sure no more cancer before they start me on meds, so the worry is still there, and I appreciate the photo, I didnt have staples I was super glued, strange feeling..but Im glad to finally talk to someone…Im drained and already had insominia so the tired feeling is never accompanied by a nap just laying around…its awful…good to tak to you and surely know how everyone feels… Sarina

  6. HD inOregon says:

    Christina,
    We are feeling with you! I had thyroid cancer and know how it feels to be either hyper- or hypothyroid. It is the pits!! I know all about being tired all the time.

    Hang in there, we’re rooting for you.

    HD in Oregon

    P.S. with a last name of Hütten, do you speak German? I am from Köln in Germany. 😉

  7. Kathy says:

    Christina, doesn’t it feel tons better knowing that there are others here who feel exactly the same way. You’re so young and I can so relate right now and know that I must have had thyroid disease for years without being diagnosed. Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight to be heard, to be taken care of, to help yourself feel better. And write, write, write…here to get out all the feelings and know that we will all send you virtual hugs of support. You are a Thysistah!

  8. Robyn says:

    I’m a relative newbie, too, (dx in June). We’re all here for you, we all are different and yet the same. Things will improve, and now we have your back!

  9. Christina says:

    Thank you for all your comments. You are a true inspiration.
    It’s great to know that we are all in this together.
    Although it takes a lot of fighting and strength we can win this.
    I will not let my thyroid dictate my life.
    I wrote my letter a while ago.A lot has changed since then,
    and besides my constant lack of sleep,I’m back on
    track.
    I’m telling everyone about my disease and symptoms and I
    kicking everyone out of my life who isn’t supportive.
    Thank you all for reading my letter.
    I hope you are all doing good and that your thyroids
    aren’t causing much trouble.
    Christina

  10. Anonymous says:

    Sarina please please learn from my mistake.

    I didn’t have surgery, I had I131 and for Graves, not cancer. But still I have no thyroid, just a corpse of a thyroid sitting there in my neck.

    They said get my blood tested every month. The first month things were good. So good that I postponed the 2nd one by a couple of weeks. Just 2 weeks. I waited till my regular physical to do it instead of an extra blood test at the time they told me.

    So I slipped through the cracks. I felt like total shit and didn’t know why. The GP was a bit clueless also. And this all happened right around Thanksgiving, which delayed things a couple of more weeks, with me getting worse on a daily basis.

    When I finally went to see my endo, he took one look at me and said (and I am quoting him here) “I can’t believe someone of your intelligence didn’t call me up and say move my appointment up, I feel terrible and need to see you now, not next week”. I didn’t feel attacked, I felt validated.

    So the point is, you’re probably going to get hypo, unless they medicate you right away. And even if they do, it can be hard to figure out the right dose for you, as opposed to some other person of your age, gender, weight and so on. It’s your body and your quality of life. So don’t be shy with the questions and comments about how you are doing with your doctor.

    They say TSH of between 0.3 and 3.0 is normal, with those of us on total replacement needing to be at the low end of this. But what they don’t always add is everyone has their own normal. My right TSH may not be your right TSH.

    Anyway hang in there.

    Thyroid cancer beats hell out of liver cancer, which my dad had. They can’t remove the liver. It’s a death sentence. With thryoid cancer, Hashi’s or Grave’s we can live. Sometimes the quality of our life sucks but we live. Most days I think that’s good.

    Great letter, keep writing.
    Zari

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