It’s been 3 years since we parted company. 3 years of worry, sadness, loneliness and fear. The word Cancer is life altering, no matter “whether” it is the good, the bad or the ugly. Cancer is not a word I wanted to hear in relationship to my body.
Sometimes I have short periods where I don’t miss you at all; when my life almost feels normal; when the medications are actually working and I can function well. But, those times are far and few between. My visits to the Doctor have increased so much…. She knows my grandkids names and ages. I go from the doctor to the ER, to the doctor … Trying to fill the void you left. But, no luck. My family thinks I should be glad you’re gone; that your negative influence is over.
I wish it was. I wish I wasn’t headed to the pharmacy to pay for yet another dosage change. Soon I will have every size, type and brand. I don’t throw them away right off the bat…. Just in case my body rebels once again.
There is always hope that this new combo of meds will work. But, hope is getting dimmer. I am tired of waiting for things to improve, only to have it worsen. The worst is that my family believes that if I just tried harder, ate better, or walked more, I would feel so much better. That I am becoming a hypochondriac and just don’t care anymore.
Those things hurt my soul. So for now Dear Thyroid, KMA.
Tags: Dear Thyroid Letters, papillary thyroid cancer support, thyroid cancer, thyroid cancer anger, thyroid cancer blog, thyroid cancer fighting back, thyroid cancer letters, thyroid cancer patients taking control