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Wednesday June 26th 2019


Too Tired to Jump Your Bones

Post Published: 14 October 2010
Category: Guest Bloggers, Too Tired to Jump Your Bones
This post currently has 5 responses. Leave a comment

Forty-three percent of women report low libido, but in my practice, the numbers are much higher.

While libido is the most complex symptom that I work with by far, it often has biological determinants along with the more nuanced emotional pieces of couple connectivity, negotiation of sexual boundaries and divergent need/desire. In fact, 70% of low libido is due in part to a hormonal imbalance. For a questionnaire on the most common types, go here. Then again, low libido is usually multi-factorial.

What sets us up in a potential libido trap is that high-libido types are attracted to low-libido types, which places one on the path for disconnection unless one becomes an effective navigatrix. One important question for discernment is this: Are you satisfied with your sexual life? Are you or your partner experiencing any distress over your sexual connection?

What are the most common hormone imbalances I see?

  1. Low thyroid function. I find there is an epidemic of under-replacement.
  2. Estrogen dominance. Even if you estradiol is low, you can have a super-low progesterone and the net result is estrogen dominance.
  3. Adrenal dysregulation. Both high and low cortisol cause a problem here. High cortisol – enter the world of fight , flight collapse. Who wants sex when it feels like a tiger is chasing you? Your body helps you with this: cortisol blocks the progesterone receptor. Low cortisol – just too tired to care. A root canal sounds easier.
  4. Low androgens. Particularly in low adrenal function or burned out adrenals, there just aren’t the precursor hormones such as pregnenolone to make DHEA and testosterone. Low testosterone also decreases your conversion from T4 to T3. Ah, the interdependence of it all.

You may be reading this and thinking to yourself, “Hallelujah, that is one thing I don’t have to worry about.” Before you get too comfortable, please know that it takes four years to get to know a partner. Four years before your long-term libido is truly apparent, before you get past the more unconscious attraction that first fires up and feeds a relationship.

For those of you with kids, you know already that children hijack libido for 18 years and for most of us, regular luscious satisfying sex takes tremendous attention and planning. Imagine being Obama’s executive assistant or Oprah’s – that’s about the commitment you need to have.

In every workshop, I always get one woman who is having better, hotter sex than she was 10 years ago. Of course, I want to know her secret. It’s usually a combination of radical self care, deep emotional connectivity with her partner, and a commitment to an unfolding, deepening, mature sense of her erotic creature as she ages. Plus her hormones are where they need to be.

Written by, Dr. Sara Gottfried

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5 Responses to “Too Tired to Jump Your Bones”

  1. Anna says:

    Thank you for the info. I am dealing with estrogen dominance and adrenal fatigue along with my Hashimoto’s. I was the one with the libido in my marriage. Now I have none, we should be matched… NOOO as soon as one loses their mojo, the other finds it. Nice.

  2. Jennifer says:

    Dr G, thank you so much for sharing this! Can you tell me how I find a Dr that will even treat or look at hormone levels? I have been tested for some but not all, and my Endo says it all looks fine. I don’t think it is. 🙁 I am 35 and have Hashimotos, had a TT from thyroid cancer and am wondering where the heck my libidio is.

  3. Scott Rose says:

    A female friend of mine reported having her boyfriend over to dinner on a night he had a cold. Afterwards, she said “So I guess because of your cold, we won’t be having sex.” He answered “That shows what you know about men.” I felt that same way, even with out-of-control Hashimoto’s and resultant low testosterone.

  4. Thanks for your comments – too funny about the boyfriend with a cold! I have a husband like that! TMI?

    Here’s a site that offers referrals to patients who generally are trained to check hormone levels and work integratively: http://www.acamnet.org/

  5. Jen says:

    Interesting post, thank you for sharing the info. I have adrenal and progesterone issues in addition to Hashimoto’s myself, and though a new doc is helping me feel amazingly better, there are still, obviously, issues.

    I’d love for the doctor to come back and share more information w/DT readers!

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