Fat Thigh-roid Woes: Reflections of a Grave Procrastinator
How often do you spend everyday of your life doing what you want to do, and away from obligations or responsibilities? When you die, do you want your headstone to say “had a great work ethic”?
Happy New Year everyone!
Although I’m remaining positive that this year will be amazing, on January 1st I heard some sad news. A friend from college passed away in his sleep on the 31st. While we all drifted apart over the years and I hadn’t seen him since college, it’s still a terrible tragedy to hear of someone so young passing away.
He did have some autoimmune related health problems (what’s that like?) however, these issues don’t directly explain his death – so an autopsy is pending. On Sunday night a group of us gathered to hear about how our friend spent his last day on earth…
Working an 11 hour shift at a shitty touristy chain restaurant.
AND…let the 2011 existential crisis BEGIN. Life is meaningless. Life is absurd.
After his shift ended he apparently left in a bad mood (no doubt from the crappy tips) and met up with his girlfriend for the evening. His night progressively got better – they went to a bar and listened to a jazz band play then left to get some food.
Oh, here was the “good news” reported to us –
They left the bar somewhere around 12:30am, went to drive thru and ordered two western bacon cheeseburgers and apparently they were the “best cheeseburgers he’d ever eaten. The bacon was really crisp and that never happens.”
Besides his death, what is more tragic – working an 11 hour shift at a shitty restaurant on your last day of living, or getting thrilled over the “crisp bacon” on a cheeseburger?
I guess it’s the little things…
LIFE IS MEANINGLESS. LIFE IS ABSURD.
After he finished his 2nd burger (which was apparently was just as amazing as the first) they hung out and went to sleep. His girlfriend had heard him snoring abnormally around 3:30am, so she nudged him to turn over and then a bit later she noticed he wasn’t breathing. She tried to revive him but at that point he was gone, the ambulance showed up and then he’s taken off in a body bag. From chowing down two burgers and loving the “crisp bacon” to being dead in a matter of three hours.
This kind of story makes me want to take out a credit card with a 10k limit and go buck wild. Why am I sitting at my job, why am I cleaning my house, why am I grocery shopping, why am I doing laundry before it overflows, WHY am I doing all these things I don’t really wanna FUCKING do EVER?
Why am I procrastinating on enjoyment, but taking care of responsibilities in a timely fashion?
I set my intentions for 2011, and at the top of the list I have “take a stunt driving course.” I looked into it, and a weekend stunt driving course with one of the best schools is $1200. I’m trying to pay off my bills, but really, something inside of me wants to just CHARGE IT and do donuts in a shitty Ford Focus.
Here is the rub: All of us here know and realize the value of life thanks to not being completely healthy. When you’ve been sick, you’re supposed to appreciate health and life more…right?
My friend had been in the hospital before, and he was always sickly. What possessed him to eat two double cheeseburgers at 12:30am? My choices now that I’ve been sick don’t point to that, but I guess we all make our exceptions…mine are cake and cookies.
Then again, it doesn’t just relate to food. What choices do you make to ENJOY and LIVE instead of hearing words like…RESPONSIBILITY and LEVEL-HEADED and SHIT TOGETHER?
Tired of going through the motions. I pay rent, I ignore my medical bill phone calls, I pay my household bills, I buy healthy food, I avoid eating a bagel with cream cheese for breakfast, I force myself to eat oatmeal, etc…I do about 95% of the things I’m supposed to do, yet FUN is always lacking…it’s almost there but not quite.
I move that we all do ONE completely irresponsible yet FUN thing in 2011. At least one. Mine will be to purchase stunt driving classes.
Life is too short. You know what it is to be sick. Stop procrastinating on FUN. Leave your house, go out, and don’t even do anything for “relaxing” or “selfish time” or any of it. Do something completely stupid and idiotic, teenager style.
**I am not responsible for any mess you may land yourself in, nor will I bail you out of jail. Have fun telling your friends you were in jail for a weekend for stealing a golf cart.
I realize it’s impossible to “live each day as your last” and whoever said that was right but not realistic. I’m willing to live each weekend like it’s my last though, cause that is somewhat attainable. I’m going to start naming Saturdays as the day for “last” everything.
Who will join me in this?
Let’s do it before it comes down to working an 11 hour shift at a shitty restaurant, and finding our final joy in crisp bacon.