Life Through Lipstick Lenses: Glow-A luscious pinky brown lipgloss
It’s that time of year again. I will be seeing my endocrinologist, radiation oncologist, and my laryngologist over the next two weeks for my quarterly check-ups. After my cancer came back the second time, I am now guaranteed an ultrasound and/or PET scan every 3-6 months. Most people rely on the blood work to tell them if their Tg requires more investigating, but I am one of the lucky few who produce an antibody against Tg leaving ultrasound and PET scan as the only methods to detecting cancer. Since my first surgery, tumors have developed at almost every scan since. Needless to say, there is always apprehension going into these appointments. My last scan three months ago was the first clean scan I received since 2008 and I was ecstatic, well, for about an hour until I started having doubts and anxiety that maybe the doctor read the results wrong. Why do we do that? I really tried to revel in the moment of a clean scan, but in the back of my mind I couldn’t shake my distrust of the results.
As a cancer survivor I believe we all deal with that hesitant joy; the “Are you sure?” moments when it comes to our physical health. What I know is that I am now much more aware of any changes in my body. I try to treat my body better and I listen to my body more. I don’t push it as hard as I used to and I am not ever ashamed to call my doctors to ask them questions, that is what they’re there to do. I also know that fear of the cancer coming back cannot rule my life and I will not let it. One thing I was taught in my great adventure is that I am strong and I can overcome. I read a quote that said, “Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” Of course! How do we gain courage and strength if we don’t surpass and triumph over something we fear! Mark Twain has quoted, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.” So yes, it is ok to be afraid, but I’d rather be known to be courageous.
For my appointments I will walk in wearing my Glow ultrashine lipgloss. I will walk with my head held high and glow from the inside out knowing that I am now stronger and whatever the results, I will handle it and walk with courage.
–Written by, Anna Warner
Tags: fears about pending check-ups for cancer, glow - a luscious pinky brown lip gloss, learning how to live as a cancer survivor, life through lipstick lenses, managing cancer, thyroid cancer column, thyroid cancer from a survivor's perspective