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And That’s The Story Of… That’s The Glory Of… Graves

Post Published: 13 October 2010
Author:
Category: Dear Thyroid Letters
This post currently has 13 responses. Leave a comment

Dear thyroid,

Isn’t it strange how I didnt even konw you existed until last march when I was diagnosed with Grave’s ! but now we know each other quite well of course….I was feeling all wrong long before that, I had no idea that there was a mean gland in my neck that could do all this…..all of sudden I felt hot all the time my face covered with sweat -u know how fun that is- which made me feel awful affected my work and my social life….I was hungry all the time – really, all the time – and you …you….you made me GAIN WEIGHT ..no women would ever forgive that….. I couldnt sleep and I would run around the apartment at night so close to loosing my mind tired as hell but not able to sleep….the worest thing is my eyes….why couldn’t u just either leave them both alone or affect them equally ….it’s hard to look at my face in the mirror anymore all i see is my staring right eye….I don’t know who I am anymore….is it me or is it you who is anxious now ….is it me or is it you who is sad now …..and all this wasn’t enough for you , no siry ,  u had to keep growing out of my neck , messed up my heart rate and ya the tremors …. the one symptom left …you wouldn’t let me miss any of the fun .

remember all those doctors’ visits ? ….do you remember that stupid doctor who told me it was my fault coz it took me so long to figure it out …..do you remember all those tests ultrasound, x-rays and the CT scans ….do you know how much time i sat there worrying waiting for a test’s result or a doctor’s appointment ….my stomach sure does ….

my doc decided that no meds are gonna make u stop …so surgery is the way to go ….i don’t know how is it going to end or who is gonna win ….but i am scared out of my mind ….i am scared to lie on the surgery table ,close my eyes and never open them again …..i am scared of dying ….i am scared that this would be it …22 yrs old ,still in college haven’t done anything with my life and that would be it….i didnt hate you that much before…. i was trying to like you a little , after all it was my body who was attacking you , so you can say i started it …..but now you are ruining everything…please be kind and go away easily ….let me be me again ….

Dee

*i was diagnosed with Graves disease last march while i probably had it for a year before that , i took medication for 7 months with no response and afraid of pressure symptoms  and the arrythemia i developed the doctor decided to do the operation as soon as it becomes athyroid  .

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13 Responses to “And That’s The Story Of… That’s The Glory Of… Graves”

  1. Sara Broers says:

    I hear ya………..Hang in there! You will win!

  2. Amanda says:

    Dee,
    I too have Graves, and my symptoms started in March of this year. It is a big sucky disease, but there many here who have it. I honestly know exactly how you feel, except the eyes. Mine were somehow spared the symptoms… but every other textbook symptom was right there. I am sorry the doc made you feel to blame. We are not to blame for this, there is nothing you could have done to avoid it, and little to do when the symtoms bombard you… I am glad you went to find out what the heck was going on. I waited only about a month before getting in to my doc and she knew almost immediately that it was thyroid related. My endo wanted to do RAI on me, but for the meds seem to be working… although a little wonky right now. You are feeling all the normal things, it is ok to be scared, mad and pissed off. This is life altering. Chronic illness, at 22? It isn’t something anyone we would ever want.

    I can’t speak about the removal of the thyroid, hopefully someone steps in and does. You need our support and we are here.

    Wishing you well,
    Amanda

    • Dee says:

      Hey amanda,

      I hope your thyroid would keep responding to meds and go into remission …fingers crossed….it’s glad to hear that somebody knows exactly what i am going through …

      bless you and thank you so much …i am so glad that i found this group where i can just come out and say i’m scared and i hate my thyroid …

      hope u get better too,
      Dee

  3. DrEricO says:

    Hello,

    I too was diagnosed with Graves’ Disease, and while I never did consider receiving RAI, I did consider taking the Methimazole and beta blocker recommended by my endocrinologist. But I decided to hold off and try a natural treatment protocol, which over time wiped out the symptoms, and after a few months my blood test normalized. This doesn’t mean that such a protocol can help everyone with Graves’ Disease, but I do wish that more people would at least consider following a natural treatment protocol.

    Thank you for sharing your story Dee!

    Dr. Eric

    http://www.NaturalEndocrineSolutions.com

    • Dee says:

      hey DrEricO,

      My endo didn’t really offer me any option other than the meds at the time, and now my thyroid is too big to consider anything other than surgery…now that i have searched more and read more about it , i wish i was presented with more options …..

      thank you so much though and keep spreading awareness …

      Dee

      • DrEricO says:

        I definitely understand your situation Dee, as most endocrinologists aren’t aware of the effectiveness of natural treatment methods when it comes to hyperthyroidism and Graves’ Disease. In any case, I do wish you the best of luck with everything.

        Take care,

        Dr. Eric

  4. HDinOregon says:

    Hello Dee,

    I lost my thyroid gland three years ago to cancer.

    Living without a thyroid is OK. The doc (Endo is his first name) is still fiddling with my dosage, and I still feel “off” somehow. Tired, angry, listless, lustless, those are words that come to my mind.

    Hey, but I can live without the butterfly thingy. It is not ideal, but it will do. Cancer is a big word, and I rather fight a chronic thyroid disease, then die of the “C-word”. So here I am. And glad I am.

    You’ll adjust, and you’ll make it through, I am sure! — We’re all rooting for you! Hang in there. And I offer my virtual shoulder to lean against.

    Sending healing thoughts your way!

    HD in Oregon

    • Dee says:

      Hey HD in Oregon,

      I am glad too that you have overcame the C-word ….your words really touched my heart…I am trying to focus on the operation for now , not thinking about living as a hypo after it …. it seems strange that i am gonna feel the exact opposite from what i am feeling now…
      I do hope i make it through …..and then come here and whine about living without it :)

      Good luck to you and thank you so much ….

      Dee

  5. Lolly says:

    Dee,

    I could be reading my own story they are so similar, other than I was responding well to anti thyroid meds and beta blockers.

    7 months really isn’t long enough to see how things will be and have they got your dose of medication right are they reading your results correct or just looking at TSH. Now if you think I am being harsh it is only because after surgery don’t think things will be any better you really have to understand your thyroid levels/symptoms insist they do all 3 thyroid test Free T4, Free T3, and TSH and make sure that you don’t go hypo my antibodies increased tenfold after surgery making my eyes even worse.

    Hand on heart if it wasn’t for the thought or suspicionthat I may have cnacer I would not have undergone surgery and tried to go into remission or at least on a maintenance dose of antithyroid meds or laternative.

    You have made your choice recommended by either surgeon or endo you will still have to become stable after surgery and be reliant on a substitute of thyroxine yes there are other things you can take but nothing really compares to your own.

    I wish you all the best and hope that it is all smooth sailing for you, some of us just aren’t as lucky.

    Lolly

  6. Linny says:

    I wish Id known about Holistic treatments at this stage of discovery. Consider looking into this treatment before you do anything you can’t undo.
    I had Radition in 2002 and wish I had studied my choices. No going back for me now its been fried.
    Best results thru many many Doctors/Endo came with adding Holistic. I have heard of some people having great results when trying this approach first. Sadly I will never know how much better I might be today.
    My best to you, Linny

  7. Lisa says:

    Dee,
    Reading your post gave me such dejavue! I did have the surgery back in March 2003. Wait a minute, how bizarre; what is up with the month of March and thyroidism?!
    My thyroid grew very large from September to February and biopsy revealed cancer so yes I was ready for the surgery and get that big alien thing out of me! I do recommend that you find a surgeon that has done 20+ thyroid removal surgeries. That’s what I did and that gave me a feeling of ease going into a surgery where it
    seemed as if I was being cut from ear to ear. I too am here for you to talk to.
    Lisa

  8. Lisa says:

    Dee,
    Reading your post gave me such dejavue! I did have the surgery back in March 2003. Wait a minute, how bizarre; what is up with the month of March and thyroidism?!
    My thyroid grew very large from September to February and biopsy revealed cancer so yes I was ready for the surgery and get that big alien thing out of me! I do recommend that you find a surgeon that has done 20+ thyroid removal surgeries. That’s what I did and that gave me a feeling of ease going into a surgery where it
    seemed as if I was being cut from ear to ear. Grave’s also grabbed ahold of both of my eyes and stil to this day I have that awful “frightful” stare! I too am here for you to talk to.
    Lisa

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