CHRONIC SNARKOPOLIST FAQ
Who is Melissa Travis and what is the Chronic Snarkopolist all about?
Melissa enjoys visiting doctors just so they can tell her she has more life altering diseases! She just visited one who her patted her hand and whipped out a deck of medical cards and said, “This time you get to pick your diagnosis ““ really ““ patient’s choice today!”
Melissa has been chronically ill since childhood with lupus. After enjoying the perks of dealing with what she has renamed, “dread pirate’s disease” she also dealt with many other auto-immune illnesses and conditions including Hashimoto’s disease and a long list of others (just trust her- it is dizzying and her spell check isn’t working ““ plus some cancery goodness ““ boyo! Lots!).
Melissa feels incredibly close to people who have multiple intersecting illnesses or are caregivers to those who are ill. Her favorite path in life is recognizing that a person can have an illness without the illness having them. She will proclaim this at the top of her lungs even whilst being eaten by a man-eating plant. “You don’t have me! Fie! I dare you to steal my spirit! You are merely EATING ME ALIVE YOU PESKY PLANT- HAHA!”
This is a snarky humorous column about living day to day with chronic illnesses. Melissa writes from her own point of view and is very open to sharing and discussing the hopes and fears of others. No really- please share! Melissa has never felt more healed or understood in life until people share their stories or their views.
What if I don’t have any auto-immune diseases or chronic illnesses or even know what the heck an auto-immune disease is. Is the Chrnoic Snarkopolist still relevant to me?
But of course! The Chronic Snarkopolist is written to educate, enlighten, entertain, and provide a community for people who deal with chronic illness at any level. If you do not have a chronic illness, chances are you have a friend who does, or a family member, or you heard Lady Gaga got tested for lupus. Or you want to know what the heck is an auto immune disorder. And Melissa is here to sort all this business out while being funny and snarky and balancing things on her head.
People get frightened of illness. They just do. Many times we do not know what to say or we fumble around inside ourselves. Illness scares people who are healthy. Hopefully this column will help people be less afraid of our own illnesses, and more open to understanding the illnesses of others. Sickness happens. Being sick might not be as frightening or befuddling as it has been if we just learn to witness it as a life experience instead of a hair on fire emergency.
What’s all this crazy talk about auto-immuinty and chronic illness? I’m confused!
Ok ““ gather around cats! This is some crazy sauce to talk about. It is not often discussed and that is why you might not know all about it. So let’s dish!
An auto-immune disorder is a illness where the immune system mistakenly attacks healthy body tissue. It gets carried away fighting the bad cells or disease ““ and then like a burly pac man goes on a tangent and just keeps on chomping up the good cells ““ confusing the entire body and mucking up the joint. It drives doctors crazy and the people who deal with auto-immune conditions even crazier. Auto-immune disorders are NOT contagious and they are generally something you are born with genetically. Hashimoto’s disease, for example, is an auto-immune disorder, as is lupus, cronh’s, rheumatoid arthritis, multiple sclerosis, celiac disease, sjogren’s syndrome, and many others. And – when one shows up- many times a few others will sneak in because auto-immune diseases enjoy the company of their friends.
Chronic illness on the other hand ““ simply means that a person suffers from an illness that is long lasting or will recur throughout their life. So a person who has an auto-immune disorder necessarily also has a chronic illness. But someone who has a chronic illness doesn’t necessarily have an auto-immune disorder.
Chronic illnesses include chronic fatigue syndrome, diabetes, asthma, osteoporosis, cancer, cardiovascular diseases, fibromyalgia, and pretty much any illness that you have to take a constant daily medication to deal with. Living with chronic illness does not mean that you’re a lamo or a loser or a failure. It also does not mean that you’re at death’s door. Meanwhile ““ it could very much mean that ““one never knows. They do not have good terminology to tell people just how sick a chronically ill person is at any given moment.
They are just words ““ terms. And people who are sick might have good days and bad days. We struggle to make our good days GREAT and our bad days as easy and less bad as possible. Sickness is not a failure. And being chronically sick can be done with success ““ and who knows if success means climbing a mountain or sitting up. It varies person to person and disease by disease.
The opposite of chronic in medical doctor speak is called, “acute.” Acute illness ““ aside from being adorable and stunning in the sassiest heels ““ is also something that comes and goes quickly- like a cold or a broken arm or anything that a person gets over in three months or less.
When is the Chronic Snarkopolist published?
Weekly on Mondays! Like your favorite flapjacks! Smothered with syrupy snark!
Can Melissa provide medical advice on how to treat my illnesses?
While Melissa might be a doctor of sass, she is not a medical doctor. And even if she were, she would not be allowed to give medical advice to you online. So- do not come looking to her for diagnosing or consulting of your treatment plan. Do not stop or start your medications based on her snarkopolizing. Really. Melissa has a four hour timer and takes a fist full of medications.
She’s chalk full of good advice and experience. And she wants to hear EVERYTHING YOU’VE GOT TO SAY about what has worked for you. What you love and hate about living with your chronic illnesses. How you’ve learned to have an illness without it having you. But you know ““ don’t tell your doctor Melissa said she or he is a fool ““ even if it is true. But if they ARE fools ““ change doctors. You deserve good medical care! Everyone needs good doctors! Melissa has had the best and the worst! Find a doctor who will hug you if you ask and then KEEP THEM FOREVER!
How can I get in touch with Melissa?
You can email her at *I need an email address Melissa @ dearthyroid . org , leave her a note in the comments section of the Chronic Snarkopolist, or find her on Facebook.
Will Melissa please tell me something funny- I’m feeling snarky too?
Of course I will!!! I love a good comedy video challenge! Oh really I do! But if you challenge me, you must know the rules and follow them too! And then it will be ON LIKE DONKEY KONG! Bring it. Yo. Melissa’s Comedy You Tube Channel is Sassy Snit.