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Wednesday October 16th 2019

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Posts Tagged ‘Dear Thyroid Letters’

Oh, Dear Thyroid, Can’t We Please Gland Along?!

Oh, Dear Thyroid, Can’t We Please Gland Along?!

You'd think I would have started asking for rent already.   You know, a monthly fee of some sort to justify the presence of this ugly thing that's living with me; a most unwelcomed [Read] | 15 responses.

Your Thywhipping Bitch, I Am Not

Your Thywhipping Bitch, I Am Not

Dear Thyroid, I'm only 23, Dear Thyroid, why now? Our relationship began unexpectedly, and similar to other people's stories, I got fat.   And, also, like others, I was not eating [Read] | 28 responses.

She’s Still Standing AND Living, Take That, Thyroid

She’s Still Standing AND Living, Take That, Thyroid

Dear Thyroid, It's been 14 days since you have been gone. It has been 14 days since you have been taken out of my swollen neck, killed and thrown away. It has been 14 days since not [Read] | 14 responses.

A Thynundrum Indeed

A Thynundrum Indeed

Dear Thyroid, I've been so angry at you these past few years - ever since you turned on me.   I thought we were close.   I thought we were looking out for each other.   Then you [Read] | 8 responses.

Goiticon And The Half Blood Princess

Goiticon And The Half Blood Princess

Dear Thyroid, This is Goiticon your sinister sidekick. I am writing to warn you of difficult days ahead. Forces are aligning to discover our dark plot to destroy The Hostess. She [Read] | 11 responses.

You Expect Thygiveness After What You’ve Taken From Me, Seriously?!

You Expect Thygiveness After What You’ve Taken From Me, Seriously?!

Dear Thyroid; I am told you look like a butterfly, fluttering imperceptibly at the base of my neck. I imagine you pretty, delicate, in slightly iridescent shades of pink. Who couldn't [Read] | 20 responses.

Krappa Krappa Glanda

Krappa Krappa Glanda

Dear Thyroid, When I went to college, I didn't join a sorority. Even if they'd had them at Georgetown, a sorority didn't really sound like my thing. All that giggling and doing each [Read] | 52 responses.

Let’s Make A Deal

Let’s Make A Deal

Dear Thyroid, I really wish you had been more upfront with me.  For years I have endured your problems which you denied were your doing.   To be fair, YOU didn't deny it, but your [Read] | one response.

Thy’ve Arrived? Oh, No. No Way. No How. NO!

Thy’ve Arrived? Oh, No. No Way. No How. NO!

Dear Thyroid; We've been together for nearly twenty-three years now, yet I feel as though we have only really gotten to know each other over the past few months. ,  Before we got [Read] | 4 responses.

Thychotic

Thychotic

Dear Thyroid, You are like a psychotic boyfriend who won't let go.   Nine years later.   That's bad. Riddled with cancer and plucked from my neck at age 27, you've been [Read] | 9 responses.

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