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Thursday May 2nd 2024

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‘Dear Thyroid Letters’ Archives

How Very Gland of You

How Very Gland of You

Dear Thyroid; I realize this letter is long overdue as a means of demonstrating my appreciation for years of faithful service.   I confess to taking you for granted. In fact, I [Read] | no responses.

Dear Thyroid Update RE: Submissions

Dear Thyroid Update RE: Submissions

Glandarific Beauties, We're experiencing some technical difficulties with submissions@dearthyroid.com. So, if you haven't heard back from us within 24 hours of submission, please [Read] | no responses.

Dear Thyroid, I WILL BE The Last One Standing, Not You!

Dear Thyroid, I WILL BE The Last One Standing, Not You!

Dear Thyroid, In four weeks we will be parting ways after a 7-year battle. You put up a good fight and have almost never let your guard down, regardless of how hard I have tried to [Read] | 5 responses.

Dear Rachel’s Thyroid, Goodbye, Please

Dear Rachel’s Thyroid, Goodbye, Please

Dear Rachel's Malfunctioning Thyroid; You stole into our lives into the middle of the night, like a thief. You struck silently, creeping up on your victim, thinking she was alone and [Read] | one response.

Gland We Get Along?

Gland We Get Along?

Dear Thyroid, You cannot be both healthy and sick at once.   It is a logical impossibility.   And yes -- I know absolutely nothing about math or reasoning or any sort of rational [Read] | 2 responses.

There Was Nothing Sweet About Our Termination

There Was Nothing Sweet About Our Termination

Dear thyroid; I miss you. You did your job just fine. It's a shame we had to part ways. It's been just over a year. Unfortunately, while you were doing your job, a cancerous tumor [Read] | 4 responses.

Dear Thyroid, Please Listen To Me!

Dear Thyroid, Please Listen To Me!

Dear Thyroid, As you probably know, I've been seriously considering running through the streets of rural Massachusetts screaming at night because of you. I can't help but feel like [Read] | one response.

I Sometimes Wonder

I Sometimes Wonder

Dear Thyroid, Now that you're gone I tend to ask myself, "Why did you grow a goiter after my second child?" All this did was cause you to stop working for me properly. I continue to [Read] | one response.

Wait For It

Wait For It

Dear Thyroid, You really aren't so clever, you know. You think attack is something new, something radical. But you've got to realize that I, myself, am the best at attack and [Read] | no responses.

YaYaYaYaYa

YaYaYaYaYa

Dear Thyroid, Tomorrow we have yet another blood test and a little added treat: an HPV shot! Joy. But that's unimportant. You don't feel joy. I can tell. I can tell that emotions [Read] | 3 responses.

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