Tell Me, Dear Thyroid, Is Our Issue, Nature or Nurture?
**sigh**, Where do I start?, Okay, it’s not your fault. I know that, and I don’t blame you. I blame United Nuclear Corporation for contaminating our drinking water with uranium decay isotopes from their mine and then not telling anyone about it for seven years. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know!, I didn’t mean to kill you by drinking and bathing in radioactive water for so long. It just happened. You may not be the only one to go… only time will tell. You’re lucky, our sister Heather’s thyroid got it worse than you. And our Mom got breast cancer. What else may come along?, I don’t really want to know…
I’m not angry about it, or angry with you. I never was. It was something that just happened when we were a kid. And that was 20 years ago anyway. Mostly I just wished you worked properly again and that I felt like I used to. I don’t really feel like a whole person anymore when I think about it. I feel like a car without gas. I may look shiny on the outside and have all glass and metal and rubber and chrome, but I just can’t “go”. And what good is a car that can’t “go”. A smashed-up jalopy with gas is better than a million-dollar sports car with an empty tank. My tank feels empty all the time now.
I do get frustrated about some things, though. Like, all the literature and medical research out there is geared toward menopausal women. I’m not menopausal. I’m not a woman. Please someone tell me how to deal with irritable male syndrome!, I get frustrated that my thyroid needs vary seasonally and I’m constantly needing adjustments. I’m surprised my doctor hasn’t just given up already. You used to take care of that perfectly, but now you cannot. I’m not even sure if you actually produce small amounts of something still, or none at all, although I have my suspicions that you’re not 100% dead. Whatever part of you is left, keep on going!, You can do it, even if you can’t do it all. Every natural bit helps. Mostly I get frustrated knowing that the well-being of the rest of my life is dependent on a pill for the 50 years.
Sometimes I feel sad when I remember I was an sharp, active, trim young man and then that winter when I was 26 and just I felt very blah all the time and my doctor made an unusual discovery in my blood tests. And I feel sad when I think back on the last 10 years as I dwindled down to couch potato lethargy, brain fog, and expanding outward by 30 percent. I feel even sadder when my brain says “Yes, we can be like that again!” and then when it comes down to it my body says “No, no we can’t; I’m too tired.”
So, anyway, I’m glad you’re still there, even if you’re probably not working at all. At least the doctor’s haven’t seen fit to remove you and leave me with a frightening scar across my neck. I’m scary enough to little children as it is. And even if there was absolutely nothing I could have done about it at the time, I’m sorry I subjected you to a radioactive environment that killed you. You trusted me to take care of my whole body, and I trusted the world to take care of me. At least our parents did the best they could, but the rest of the world did not.
(Bio) Michael is 36 years old and was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at age 26, which is highly unusual for a male that age. He works as a cartographer and is working on his M.S. degree. He used to enjoy many things, but now spends most of his time resting resting resting. You can read more about Michael at his website.