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Anything Grey, But 50 Shades
I learned about grey a long time ago and how much better it is to see life through a grey lens than a black and white one, which was and is too myopic. Speaking for myself, grey allows me to intellectually dissect an issue and see all sides of the spectrum. I find it empowering and ideal in my professional life.
Things get messy when it comes to my personal life, not with friends, but with potential suitors.
I have Graves’ disease, and what I and many others have been through is so unconscionable, unspeakable and unbelievable, that we don’t talk about it. Instead, we find work arounds, opportunities to gloss over it or to spin a yarn that’s easier for others to digest, myself included. All of that, in my opinion is okay, too. I have NO PROBLEM not discussing what I’ve been through because it’s personal. My story is personal to me. I will share it with my thyroid sisters because we know on such a deep level how to read between the lines, and reach out to extend love and support. I will share my story to achieve a greater good – an interview, an opportunity to speak to others about this disease, so that people understand the realities that might lie ahead, and so they will know that they are NOT ALONE. There are so many places for them to go to feel cradled and safe while journeying through the quagmire of this disease.
Back to potential suitors… I wish that I was in a place where I was ready to date again. I wish that I looked and felt like myself again. I wish that I could open my heart and legs to someone new. I wish that I didn’t feel like damaged goods. I wish that I didn’t shroud my mirrors because I couldn’t bear the reflection staring back at me. Wishes aren’t realities.
Many of our bodies inside and out have changed in ways that we don’t recognize ourselves. So, what do we do? While finding our way back to ourselves, how do we reclaim old parts of ourselves?
The floor is yours…
Love,
Me
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One Response to “Anything Grey, But 50 Shades”
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oh, what a beautiful and brave post. Thank you for sharing this. You’re right, it’s so hard when this illness can have such an impact on how we look and we can feel so different from the way we used to be.